If You're Happy and You Know It...you must be me!

What a privilege it must be for for you that I blog two days in a row! Though I only have 3 readers...
Let's start off with someone I'm sure we've all encountered. The "Curser of Cubicles" the "Destroyer of Desktop Destinies" the "Prowler of Puckering Plentiness" - The Office Whistler!
Why does ANYBODY whistle for fun? What effort...what...what...noise!!
Located nearby, and ya gotta love the guy for his personality, is someone who INSISTS on whistling as soon as the office gets quiet. It's out of nowhere. The silent hum of the fan, the rustling of the paper on the printer, THEN it's like an Andy Griffith telethon is playing full blast in the next room!! For Heaven's sake, get that guy an ipod!

Let's go over just what exactly it is that I do now. (Cause I know you're just itching know) - or, maybe it's just allergies.
Anyway, I'm the Executive Administrative Assistant at a brand new hospital. My boss is the CEO/CNO/Administrator/Dali-Lama/Grand Pu-Bah!! When she says "jump" I say "Can you see the bottom of my shoes from here?"
Absolutely love my boss. My job is to be near her in case she needs..well, anything. From important items, to "get me two hazelnut coffee creamers" "and git sum four yurself, case we need sum for later" - Yeah, she's from Louisiana. But what she lacks in a Texas accent she makes up for in leadership skills.
My role to the hospital is to filter the people that need to see her. My reason for existence in employment stems from the fact that I can take 5 different 30 minute conversations and have it with her in about 3-6 minutes. The idea is for staff to come to me, explain what they need, and for me to ask her in bulk. Get the response and channel back to them. This works well if used correctly. As Mr. Miyagi says "If do right, no can defend!"
And, I'm proud of the majority that have embraced these rules and walk up to me first and say "I need to meet with her" or "Can you ask her about this?" - There are the few stubborn that have their struggles with it.......we'll pray for those!
I'm the rotweiller that makes you beg for mercy to see the master....actually just a pesky chihuahua,but I'll nip the fire out of your ankles if you get too close! I also help the Assistant Administrator. Who is from London and talks REALLY NEAT! Spot of tea, and all that nonsense!
It's also great to work about 30 feet from my wife. How we make this work I have no idea! But we do.

It's a good life. You're a good audience. I feel like whistling...no, not really!

Later, Dave-O

February Madness...

Hey there!
What is it with a trip to Wal-Mart for the annual hair cut that brings out the blogger in me? What possesed the east-texas product to talk to me all the while whizzing the shears around my head? She offers "You have pretty hair" - Okay...Stop it right there!
THEN - she says "Dad used to have hair like this...........but now he doesn't have any"
Now, I'm thinking "did he die, or just go bald?" Silence was the wise choice! AND DON'T SAY "DAD" LIKE HE'S MY DAD TOO!

Remember when McDonald's went through an overhaul years ago? Now, they have the big, indoor playground. A "resaurant-like" atmosphere.
I think it's time that Dairy Queen does the same thing! First...put one in Greenville! Next, upgrade the inside. And, third (and most important) STOP flippin' the stinkin' blizzards upside down right before you serve them to me! You scare me to death EVERY time!
So, the wife and I take a Gilligan's Island-lengthed car ride (3 hours) to Oklahoma this past weekend for my best friend's 30th birthday. I witnessed a college girls' basketball game. They REALLY get into those things. We don't sit until the first basket is made by OU. The cheerleaders came up to our seats during half-time to give the birthday boy a surprise visit and let pictures be made with them. Which, I'm pretty sure that was the first time he has been that close to any cheerleaders! Sorry Shawn, but I went to high school with you! Kidding...no, not really. We were losers! So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
What is it with Oklahoma drivers thinking that they can just cut in front of you no matter what speed you are going? What, you think 'cause you got a panhandle too that you own the road? Well, you can just detach and move to Florida if that's the way you're gonna be!...But I digest.
So, we made it back.
Trying to create a routine of working out,(a routine being - more than once a week) I was doing some sit-ups in the living room when my 5 yr old Caden walked around the corner. He spouted "Hey, nice exercises you got there!" Then he pounced down and began to do the elusive sit-ups at three times the speed I was going! What a show-off! That made me upset enough to drive to the nearest Dairy Queen - but it's TOO Stinkin' far away!!

Good day friends.

Best Blog Ever

As I was cleaning the house, listening to the ole MP3 player, dancin' around, singing along, my son walks up to me and gives me a look of "Dad, I need to tell you something" - so, I kneel down, take off the earpieces and say "What is it"?
He replies "Dad, you're the best dad ever." Now, obviously I'm the only dad he'll ever have so the bar is not set so high! But, atleast he was comfortable enough to tell me. That got me to thinking just how blessed I am.
I was recently given an opinion regarding marriage from someone not married and not planning on it. He said to me "Hey, I can go out with a different woman every night, do whatever I want, say whatever I want, with no tie-downs." He eluded to the fact that he thought I (married people) was trapped, had too many boundries, and would never be free. - Well, seems to me that he is living a self-induced goal of rebelling against his mother, trying to find happiness in being a "man-about-the-town."
I just celebrated my ten year anniversay to the "best wife ever" (stole that from the kid)
I am not pursuing a life of happiness, but happiness continues to find me. I have her to thank for that. Happy Valentine's Day, by the way!
I have a boss that qualifies as the "best boss ever"
She had the audacity to give God all the credit for the good news that she shared with us. My kind of boss!

Moving on, I am growing weary of trying to keep my profile updated on multiple networks. Facebook, Myspace, this Blog. We need to combine or something. Call it MyFaceToday! Or BookSpace-O!

Well, I'm gonna go now, but will return with my usual left-brained take on life and the incidences that cross my path.

Later, Dave

The little Darling

Hey there,
Wednesday night the wife and I babysat my neice Baby Abby. She's 3 1/2 months old.
We picked her up from her mom (Jill) at church, 'cause that's where she works. - Jill, not the Baby Abby!
Anyway, the Baby Abby was asleep and was placed in her car seat and buckled in ;)
I kept looking back there every minute or so to see if I could detect movement or any unexpected fluid portruding out of her mouth-al area. Everytime I looked her little eyes were closed. - UNTIL...we got about 14 minutes down the road and I looked back and saw, in that little mirror thing strategically place on the headrest of the backseat facing the car-seat showing her great big-ole pretty eyeballs just-a lookin' around.
"What do we do"? I pondered to myself. Andrea was driving and we pulled into a KFC drive-thru. It was at the point of ordering that she decided to start crying. (The Baby Abby, not Andrea) So the cashier-order-taker-person had to hear little Baby Abby's displeasure of being in the backseat ALL ALONE. It was at that point that I decided to jump back there like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Diaper, (I almost went with the Temple of Doo Doo!)and show her my face. - She cried even more! But I started to work some magic with the well-placed car-seat toys. And with some tapping of my fingers, funny voices, and an iPhone she calmed down and even smiled a bit.
Once we got home she was great! She ate and then let us take turns holding her and trying to get her to smile. (Which she did a lot of) Actually, Andrea held her a lot more than me. It came time for her bath and I waited patiently in the living room watching my beloved Mavs. (And, because I have issues with other people and bath tubs....we won't go there at this particular junction. May ruin the weekend!)
Once bathtime with the little Baby Abby was over, (You tired of me using "the baby Abby" aren't you?) "Just call her Abby" you're probably screaming!
- I wanted some pictures with me holding her. She was just a tad fussy, probably thinking about the backseat abandonement earlier in the day, so I gave the camera to the wife, held her in front of me and walked her to the bathroom to show her herself in the mirror. I walked back to the living room and from the time it took me to take 11 steps....she fell asleep! Oh well. We had a fun time nonetheless. OH! I just thought of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Burpcloth! - Nah.
I heard her only once in the middle of the night. I briefly thought about yelling out my new secret technique of putting her to sleep = bath + short walk to bathroom to glance at self in mirror before returning to living room. But I didn't.

Later friends, family, former co-workers still reading this thing!

Dave

(How about Indiana Jones and the Last Cool-Aid? (Give it up Dave)

Haaawwnnkk!!

Okay, so I got busy!
How's it flappin? Me? All is well.
Took Drew (8yr old) to see the Harlem Globetrotters this Saturday. Entertaining. Drew especially got a kick out of the "tooting" sequence. It was a football play. It's too confusing to explain. We were on the third row on the floor so we could read the name brand on their socks!
After the two-hour display of athleticism I never had, we just HAD to go to McDonalds in a neighborhood I did NOT feel safe in. Then, headed to Audubon Park Baptist Church to set sound and get ready for a concert I had. (And to pray thanking God that we didn't get knifed!)
We had invited The First Voice Quartet to be featured as well. A good time was had by all (I guess). Nobody threw anything at us! We went to eat at Cracker Barrel, got home close to 11p and went to sleep.
The next morning, went to church where I noticed February misspelled twice on the overhead power-point. TWO different ways! Febuary, and Februay! Ah, the country!
I guess it doesn't matter if you can spell as long as you're not going to burn in Hell for eternity!! - Wow, you see that one coming?
Moving on, let's talk about car horns. What year is it? Must they STILL sound like an alien abducted a buffalo and is screaming for help?? "Haaawnkk!" It's one of the most annoying sounds under the sun. (I went Ecclesi' on ya)*
Why not make 'em actually say stuff.
Guy pulls out in front of ya - "HEEEYY!" or "MOOOVE!" or "GOOOO!"
Or maybe put a little flair. "Oh, no you di-in't!" "Boy, I will slap you!"
Or - "Get yo' sick, sad Pinto out of tha way 'afore I ram it with my truck...yeah it's gota a Hemi...and I'll stick this bumper so far up your trunk that everytime you turn your blinker on my six-disk-cd changer will start randomly playing music by people that also drive big cars that will run you over should you so choose to PULL OUT IN FRONT OF THEM LIKE YOU JUST DID TO ME!!"
......Maybe we'll leave it at "beep"!
Another little of life's ironic happenings crossed my path while reading in the bathroom......too much info.? Sorry, but a recent fact that I've discovered is that the iPhone makes your poo's an average of ten minutes longer. There's just soo much stuff to browse on that little devil!
Anyway, I noticed that, recently in Illonois, a plagerism policy that had been written was apparently .....PLAGERIZED from a previous location. - Good going.

*Ecclesi is a biblical reference to the book of Ecclesiates where it uses the phrase "Under the Sun" a lot. (This is a teaching blog)

Later, let me see if I can post these pictures correctly!

(is that better?)

Dave-O

And ssso it begins!

There once was a guy named Ray
Who had a little too much to say
When trying to help at work
He wound up being a jerk
That's what I'll speak on today...

Okay, his name is not Ray, but, whatever!

Question. If you know very little about someone's belief, do you honestly think you can speak as an expert on the subject? An amateur?
I don't speak Spanish very well. So....I will not interrupt a conversation between two people speaking the language and tell them how they ought to speak.
If I did speak Spanish...I guess that would yield to me a certain right if they were in the wrong.
As a male, I couldn't tell a woman how to give birth. Even a male OBGYN couldn't effectively tell a woman how to respond to that kind of situation.
If you don't believe in God, can you tell a Christian that they are wrong for not acting more like a Christian? Don't get me wrong, if a person proclaiming to be a Christian is doing something or(several things) wrong, they need to be corrected.
But what makes them wrong in the first place? Well, the bible simply says so. So the bible needs to be read by that person. Or a person with a strong knowledge certainly has the right to intervene. Not someone quoting the age old "you're supposed to be a Christian" that has very little experience in such things. You wouldn't want a janitor doing heart surgery on you.
What if someone believes in God, but doesn't go to church very often, hardly ever prays, and never acts like a Christian? - Can they tell a Christian that they are wrong for anything? They can say - "you hurt me." or "I don't like the way you act." That's perfectly fine because you are not trying speak a foreign language that don't know!

And, here's the kicker, what if, I mean, is it possible, that you were offended at something that was actually GOOD for you? What if the something that happened was going to happen but not for a long time and would happen in a worse way making you look worse and you're just being a baby?!

Let me bottom line it a couple of times.
If someone goes behind your back, that means they'll go behind the back of the one they are going to behind your back. The bible is very exact on that kind of person - and a Christian knows better. So, if a Christian does this it's an issue that he/she needs to deal with (that's right) God about. They need to pray, realize what they've done, repent and respect the wishes of those they've offended.
By the way, do you honestly think that someone that tells you what someone said behind your back told you EVERYTHING? Of course not! Your assumptions are wasted. You know 1/4 of the story - I PROMISE.
What's done is done.
I'm 30. Not the first time/last time I'm going to deal with this. You's either. (yes, you's)
Imagine the alternative....the weight still on the shoulders, the awkwardness, the unknown. Replaced with bitterness that will dissolve, everyone in agreement about one person, and the newfound prospect of "I wonder what was really said" - If you're not doubting at this point, then the shortsighted train has stopped at your station.
You think it would have been better had nothing been said? Well keep dreamin' lollipop.

For the rest of you. - I'll return with something more entertaining tomorrow! (And you know who will be reading as well)


There once was a guy named Dave
Who tried his best to behave
Who's fault it was that he spoke
And hearts he surely has broke
But for their best, for their best, he was brave

Later, Dave

Reap....Sow....Wal-Mart.

Greetings. I'm coming to you live from my wonderful recliner that vibrates (or "shakes") as my son says. The reason that it's the middle of the day and I'm not at my place of employment is because "my employment" no longer exists. Atleast not for another 60-something hours.
That's right, yesterday was my last day at Desperate Office Wives! I'm gonna miss the "educational conferences" that we had. That's when they would turn and say something inapproptiate to me about their personal lives. (Oh, you know I loved it!) I guess I should be thankful that they were comfortable with me. Could have been a lot worse. Let me recap my 6 week tenure. 1 week of minimally productive work marred by personal conversations, laughter, and food! - Hey, it was the holidays....and I started most of it! Followed by 5 weeks of awkward tension due to saying too much in one area and not enough in another. It was quiet at times. Too quiet. Rumors abound. Names (that's right) names tossed around with little stories attached to them would erupt albeit silently and cleverly timed as one or more exited the room. The true feelings from one to others and others to one was discovered. Complaints about not being able to say anything because it would "do no good" was heard. A plan or two hatched to refocus the office stucture. It's not 1 against many or many against 1. It's 1 against many against another 1 that have no clue about a third 1. And maybe a pair, and another three over here. Heroes on both sides. There was an old man with a young girlfriend, and when he spoke....I would lose IQ digits.
Or, I'm making all of that up. Which is likely, because I used to watch Days Of Our Lives on DVR! Let's chalk it up to a wild imagination and wish them the best. I made good friends there and will always be there for all of them. Just not one to twelve feet for 8 hours a day!
Here's to a good year Burt, Ernie, Big-Bird-Britney, whatever that "dog's" name was, and the truckstop queen! Oscar the Groutch says "Peace!" And whatever you reap, you will sow. If you speak ill.....you won't win. For Heaven's sake be quiet about your feelings. Unless you are confronting the one (or ones) that it has to do with. Use Bambi's mama's rule if you have to. Be patient and if you're indeed a "big girl" the test is now.
Moving on...
I will be working for a brand new hospital starting Monday morning. I believe my experience in working in the ER, Radiology, Med-Surg, Central Supply, Billing, and Admitting has afforded the experience to do this job well. And, my boss has A.D.D. which I speak fluently!! Working with some old characters and brand new dramatic specimens promises to give me material for months to come!
As a quartet pianist, it's important for me to have.....uh...bookings! So I've made some recent attempts to reach some contacts of mine to see if I could get in my church. I asked my aunt if we could get in at her church. Her reply "We are meeting at the school once a week and are currently in the middle of a building project" "It will take 12 to 18 months" - My thoughts - Have more services. More services means more offerings! Take about four a day 6, 7 days a week. Should have your new building in about a month - then we could come and sing 4 concerts in one day - EVERYBODY WINS!
Another fella said "We have one group coming in October." "I'll pencil you in for 2010"
What, are we the Beatles? We'll come do a sunday school party or something. Sheesh!!

Lastly, an interesting pick-up whilst shopping at Wal-Mart with the wife-o.
As we passed by some shirts she said "It's on clearance" "It's only $7.00" I said "It's free if you don't take one!" - My frugalness amazes me sometimes.

One last thing (even though I've already typed "lastly")
I've had some recent comments about not bloggin enough. "I check it a couple of times a week, but you don't update that often" I've heard. But my favorite was from one that said "I'll keep reading 'Dave-O Every other day' 'cause it's like once a week!"
Why don't you "Geet outa my blog?" - I'm kidding. Don't ever stop reading. ANY of you. I need you. I need you like the desert pants for the rain. Pants? On clearance?.........

Until next week, Capt'n Happ'n