That'll Teach Me...

Yesterday (Monday...worst day of the week) I decided not to say anything negative about anybody. Instead, just "positively re-describe" those individuals who wouldn't know tact if it migrated through their ear as they slept, venturing it's way to their brain causing a small explosion through the eye lids.......Well, don't EVER decide to refrain from negativity. It's at that very point that anything that can happen, will, even if it has happened before, only this time, in much greater fashion, doubling in number.
They're out there. People. People who just want to complain for the sake of complaining. - (before you get started, I do it for entertainment purposes. For theraputic reasons. - For YOUR benefit!)
But, yes, they're out there. Lurking in the hallways, waiting to pass you and ask stupid questions. Waiting to call and question the very existence of your brain. Seeking to find an atmosphere where common sense no longer has relevance. Striving to make sure that phrases such as "suposubly" replaces "suposedly" - or, when saying "right" sounds like "rat"

I had a Physician's office manager/wife call me at work. Her questions were simple. "Can I get a cash price for this?" and "How much will this patient owe?" - Seems meaningless enough. But how, I ask thee, does that turn into a 40 minute conversation/argument about things beyond my control. Peeps, if you call me and I use the phrase "I have no control over that, do you want to talk to the person that makes that decision?" Your response should be "Yes." - But what if it isn't? What if it's (gulp) "No." ?? - What on earth would make you want to continue to want to talk to me? I do NOT have the answer, yet, when asked to be transferred to the appropriate person.....you refuse! Who is responsibile for raping the generation that birthed ignorant, people set on being mean just for the sake of being mean? When I'm mean, it's to be taken comedically. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/comedically

Or, there's a lesson to be learned. - If you have a tendency to be a "lame insulter" - I would intentionally insult you with zingers that would make your grandma cry. The point? To make you a better insulter. I love you friends. I do it for your own good. - But, why be mean just for the sake of being mean? Why get some kind of satisfaction of demeaning, or belittling, detracting, and debasing? This woman was being the "Anti-Upgrade"

But I let it go. I was nice to her. Why? - 'Cause I was raised better. Which got me to thinkin'. Would these people, we'll call 'em "Strumpets," even notice negativity if it's returned? Seems like they would welcome the challenge, engage in a fuel-drivin opportunity to feed off of you just to return the fire.

Does this mean that the Dave-O is in a lose-lose situation? Does this mean that I have to accept the harshness that is dealing with this person(s) and not retaliate because it's just wasted? And, remember, I get no satisfaction from being mean. Again, it's a teaching tool.

It can't be.

So......I can't be mean........being nice causes heartburn and you die. What's my third option? - Weirdness!! - Maybe if I have the initial conversation, and then transfer the mode.

(Strumpet): "Can you tell me what the patient will owe"

(Dave-O): "Actually, I can't unless you send me over all of the information"

(Strumpet): "I will NOT send anything first." "I NEED to know EXACTLY right now!"

(Dave-O): "........1 Million Dollars!"

(Strumpet): "Excuse me?"

(Dave-O): "....The other day I saw a man in his underwhere walking on his porch"

(Strumpet): "What?" "What does that hav..

(Dave-O): "It was cold" "Why do you think he would do that?"

(Strumpet): "Okay, this is..

(Dave-O): "I was talking to a Russion about the amount of Jews in the Ukraine" "I didn't think that there were that many" "She said that there were plenty left over from the war" "I said, 'left over?' 'You make it sound like they were reheated!'"

(Strumpet): "........(click) dial tone -

Now did that actually take place? Of course not! Not YET!

But one day I will bask in the perfect glory of saying just the right thing to communicate the fact that the very people that hold themselves in VERY high esteem will be degraded to a level that will make the weep with tears that will put out their fire of greed for the "last word" - and I will, inevitably, reach down and offer a hand..........'cause I'm still a nice guy ya know! And I will say to them - "Don't worry, it's just a teaching tool" "Now, now." "Everything will be all rat"

That's all for now. As a bladder-of-fact, I have to go to the bathroom now! - Think I'm off to a pretty good start with this "not saying anything negative" thing!

You have yourself a pleasant one. - Dave