What's in a lame?

When I started work two short weeks ago I tried to make a good impression. I politely laughed at the little jokelets. Looked interested during the minutely entertaining stories of they babies (they put on purpose). I know when my three female office companions' cycles start. I've been baptized with tampon fire and blend in perfectly. - There was morning and there was evening...THAT was the first day!!
So, the second day, I was my complete self. Taking the joking, and zingers to new levels, watching as they MARVEL at the speed and clarity of my silliness. No longer was I this hot new co-worker......(okay, I even laughed at that)...now, I was "one of the girls" and everything I said was just enough over their head that they had to think and either comment with a "you're so strange" or laughter that resulted in multiple personnel snorting!

Fast forward to today. I thought we were mature enough that I could tell a simple little story of something that happened to me. Not a joke. Not a humorous anecdote with a quip on the end. No, one of "their" little short stories that seems sooooo entertaining that they think everyone else needs to listen. - Here was my story...
"So yesterday, I was driving on the bridge going over Lake Ray Hubbard, and I saw a car that had rear-ended another car parked on the shoulder. Then, about 50 yards ahead of him was, no doubt, the vehicle that he had the collision with backing towards him. When we passed I noticed that the driver backing up was about 99 years old. He doesn't need to be driving backwards. He doesn't even need to be driving forward, much less over a bridge."

That was it. That was my story. I was NOT looking to make anyone laugh. I was just telling a random event that happened to me. One of my co-workers spoke up with a "Was that the end of that story?"
"Uh, yes" I replied. "Am I supposed to be ultra-funny everytime I talk now?" "Can't I just tell a mindless little something?"
Do I really have to be "on" the whole time?

Darn it. Why did I have to be born so dog-gone fabulous?!! - Kidding....a little.

I did try to tell the same story to another co-worker with the hopes of a more pleasant reaction. She went on to tell me about the casualties of old people being on the road! Yikes! Will this ever end? I just want one person to say (are you ready for it?) .."Oh, really" and then move on. No silly comments about my story being more enlightening. No "is that it's!"

Since I'm a baby I went on a quest to then say something lame/funny to try to change my mood. One girl had mentioned that an acquaintance of hers had an allergy to cashews. I brought this back up and reiterated that the "cashew made him achoo" - Huh? Nice right?

Okay, one more. (time for the home-run)
Another lady in our office was yawning and, as I passed by, she said "David" - But I didn't really understand her and I stopped and waited for her to re-address me. She did and I hopped over to see her and said "sorry I didn't stop before I thought you were swallowing a small bear!" - Bet that one did it for you!

Have a pleasant one. And, remember, the bridge story wasn't meant to be funny. Just mildly interesting and listened to with respect to the speaker never calling out the ability to tell a story.

The "edge" of reason....

Folks, fair warning. Do NOT read this.
I'm serious. It is not pleasant.

Okay, FINE. Continue at your own risk.



Thursday the 18th. There I was. In my office 8:29am - It was a relatively quiet morning. My eye was bothering me. I had started a new project at work. The day was going just fine.....until............in walked the office nurse. With a story to tell.


"Ya'll" she said. "This morning I was in the shower, shaving my pits and when I went to switch from the left to the right, I cut my nipple with the razor!"



All of the blood drained from my face. Me and the office manager immediately clutched our busoms! I heard a legion of demons screaming off in the distance. I had forgotten about my eye irritant - due to the vision loss, no doubt.
It was the single worst thing I had ever heard. ALL BEFORE 9AM!!!

I can't even go on.......Merry Christmas!

Weather or not!

So I'm watching Ice Road Truckers last night to try to get some tips on how to drive in to work.

No, not really. But I wish there more than "two" types of drivers out there. 1. The ones going too slow. and, 2. The "what ice?" Drivers.

Bridges are far too plentiful around here.

Let me give you a lesson in who I work with.

As previously stated, I work within slapping distance of two females. Which is not good for a smart-butt like me. I pay dearly for my quips. But they make it so darn easy! They are like Burt and Ernie, except they aren't boys, they don't live together, and they are not muppet characters. But anyway, we made a pact to be nice to each other today. That lasted 10 minutes, then another 7 minutes, we just keep re-making the pact.

The boss is nice and in the same office area. She will throw a paper-clip every now and then. It's not all fun and games though. We get food brought to us by reps as well!! It's not all fun, games, food, fights, though.............let's just say that someone brought a "fart machine" - (not that we needed one, but that story won't make it this time)

But it's not all fun, games, food, fights, and farts, though......I do manage to get work done.

Then, I go home, throw the football (in the house) with the kid, play x-box 360, chase the wife around. But it's not all football, games, and fun though........well, actually it is - with an occasional Frazier episode. Come to think of it, life is grand. I will take this moment to be thankful and pray for many individuals that don't have it so well.....or, don't see that they have it well. Selah.

Thanks for the comments.

I wish you well this season with the hopes of next year being successful.

Talk to you later, keep it on the road! - Dave

What'd I tell ya?

Greetings from the third floor of a Dr's office building across from Doctor's Hospital. Dave-O coming to you live from his.......new job!
That's right folks, this morning I resume employment-ness. Calling and appealing on claims, getting things paid. Something I rather enjoy doing. In an office with three ladies. Two of whom are exactly ONE foot away from me. Oh, they like to talk. They are very nice and I fit right in - thanks to my warm personality and the fact that my wife's best friend is my new boss, who is keeping an eye on me!
I told you people that God will take care of me. Thanks for the comments about having all this free time..........lol.

So far, I've had to move the pink ipod station from my desk (1. To try to concentrate, and 2. Well, the pink thing)
I've made fun of my new co-workers. What is it about me that makes me think that I can so quickly poke fun at people that I barely know? - Must be that warm personality thing again.

Got to go. Boss is watching. and APPARENTLY I have to post more pics of the kids.

Later, Dave

Vengence.....is NOT mine.

Two undeveloped rolls of film were talking. One says to the other "Why you being so negative?".....

Gump was wrong. Life is not like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you know exactly what you're gonna get.....you just may not know when.
What a year! What a week!

You know those people that like to quote scripture when it's convenient for them? Well I'm gonna take a slightly higher road......slightly.......and try to sum up this past Wednesday. This brings me to Psalm 94:1 - O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongeth, show thyself.
I lost my job. Yes, I've checked behind the couch. I was terminated based on lack of experience. Doesn't matter that I was there for 14 months. Doesn't matter that I was never written up. What matters is that a person who came from a bankrupt facility, that has been with the company for 3 months, and has never met me face to face......can determine if I'm not qualified. Well, technically we did meet. We met Wednesday. My last day of work.
"It's finally nice to meet you." "Not just e-mailing and talking on the phone." "We are restructuring the Admitting office and we need someone else with more experience."
At that point I was just the wee bit concerned, that is until the HR lady said "So, you gotta box for your stuff?"...........
"Well, it was nice to meet you!"

This takes me to Malachi 2:3"Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces."
(Friends, dung is poo)

I leave any negative dealings with God. I will move one peacefully. He gave me that job....He took it away. He'll give me another.

It's been a great year. Full of ups and downs. Andrea and I had some obstacles to overcome. Overcame we did. I've seen the passing of a presidency. My son received salvation. I have a new neice. I began playing for a quartet again.
Being the baby that I am, I will surely be at a "woe is me" state in the future. Not today. Today, I realize just how good I have it. Family and friends that love me. (And that I love very much)

Whatsoever a man shall reap, that must he sow. 70 years from now I won't be here. (probably)
Just exaclty what can I do, and what can happen to me that will affect me after I'm gone?

What I can do is make good decisions. And, ANYTHING can happen. That does make it fun. I can lose my job 15 days before Christmas with two small boys under 10 yrs old, a horrible mortgage, car note, - but see that Christmas shopping is already finished. The car will be paid for next year. The boys simply prayed for me to find another job. I still have concerts next year.

If I don't step He cannot steer. I'll be just fine.
And as for my former employment....this brings me to Isaiah 22:18

Play Ball!

Sick-O Today

Good day friends and family. Good if you're not as sick as I be.

Thanksgiving was subtle. Good food, decent football, lots of baby pictures.

Today I've got several topics to cover so let's get to it.

First: Bumper Stickers. - I'm driving to work and I see, on the back of a pick-up. "Follow me to ..." and it had his church name. I thought "what if I followed him and he went somewhere else?" What if I followed him to his job and he worked at KFC or something. I would get out and say "Hey." "I thought I was following you to your church?" - He would say "Well, now that I've got you here..." (thinking that this would be a good time to witness to me) - but I would interrupt "You can't show me the way to Heaven...you don't even know how to get to your church!" - Now, that probably would not happen. But it does bring up an interesting subject. The age-old question of which came first the chicken or the egg. (Note the KFC reference)
My thoughts are "the frying pan gets them both in the end" - Be the frying pan, my friends!
My favorite bumper sticker is "If you can read this...I've lost my trailer!" - but no one asked for my favorite.

Next on the list is "What if you drive a Mary Kay car...and you're ugly?" Now, what constitutes ugly? - You'll know one if you see one! But enough with the false advertisement.

Last on the list: The "Starbucks-drive-through-person-that-talks-too-much"
First off, it's usually morning. - I do NOT want to talk any more than I have to. So don't ask me for anything else. Just take my order, give me my total, take my money, and hand me my warm beverage. Classic example (You know you want one!) We usually pull up the ordering menu around 6:55a - Are we greeted with a "May I take your order?" - No. Instead we get Marsha, who has apparently been smoking for as long as I've been alive!

"Welcome to Starbucks, would you like to try one of our new Mocha-Truffle-Winter-Blast-Twist-Spritzer-Chinos?"

No. We would like two Tall White Chocolate Mochas with Caramel (pronounced Car-Muhl) on top.
Marsha: "Okay, that's two tall white mochas with caramal, would you like a warm blueberry muffin to go with that?"
No.
"Marble Cake?"
No.
"Cracker?"

No.

"Hot-Oil Massage?"

What is it with those people?

She gives us our total and we pull up to the window of everlasting small-talk! "That'll be $7.46 - are you having a good morning?" (sound of gunshot)
JUST GIVE ME MY CAFFEINE WOMAN!!

It's the same no matter where you go. "You headin' in to work this mornin'?"

"Yes, kill me now!"

Not that I'm against small-talk and being nice. It's just that I don't like small-talk and being nice.

As you know, I work in a hospital. I'm over the Business Office. I've recently been instructed to forward all billing-related calls to our Corporate office. I gladly do this (mostly because I know how this will turn out.)

A lady calls me and says that she disagrees with the charged amount. I transfer her to a "billing specialist"

The "billing specialist" calls me back and says that he just got off the phone with this woman who was upset at her bill. He told me that he told her that he did not know what to do about it. He told her "I'm just in billing....."

Folks - I've got it! Let's give him a job at Starbucks. Even if you want to order something besides your lengthy-named beverage, he won't give it to you....cause he's just a cashier! Heck, you may not even have to pay for it...'cause (that's right) HE'S JUST IN BILLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Multiple gun shot sounds)

Have a pleasant one. Look out for yourself!

Sick-O

Barber And....

The initials of my last name must be an acronym for S.hoot M.e I.n T.he H.ead!! Perhaps I bring it on myself. As I browse the other blogs I'm confined not to complain too much. There's much more than me happening around here. Babies on the way, babies just arrived, marital problems, people stuck in jobs that drive them to an unhappy place in their brain. As I ponder my life there's a tendency to either be overjoyed at the blessings, or completely dismayed by the negativity that I encounter. Never a medium. So, out of respect of others who definately have it rougher than me, I will defer to more a more amusing outlook.
So, I'm off to get my hair cut. I pull into Wal-Mart.............................I'll give you a minute to make fun of my choice of barber. (Random thought: Would a hairstylist that collects books be a "Barbarian?"
In to Wal-Mart I go. I sign in. I wait about 4 minutes. The girl calls my name. I sit down in the chair and......let me 'splain son-thing to Ju! We need not visit the awkward meter that is so prevalent in my life. Needless to say, I am ususally uncomfortable in a setting that allows complete strangers to be close to me while another stranger is cutting my hair. This instance was no different. However, I knew it wouldn't last long, 'cause ya just get the clippers and get to buzzing. So, there I sat. Patiently waiting as she zinged past my ears. When, all of a sudden, the phone rings. Though there were several workers present, MY girl had to go answer the phone! Leaving me with a HALF cut head of hair. One side buzzed, one side Buckwheat! So there I am, 2 feet from the customer next to me. In plain view of all the shoppers passing by. I KNOW I heard them snicker as they looked over. "Look at the half-head-shaved-guy" they were probably saying.
She came back over, finished up.......and no tip from me! Satisfaction met.
This was also the same day that Taylor Swift (the pitchiest country singer alive)'s cd was being released. Being completely in tune with my wife's wants I strolled over to the music section to purchase said cd. Walked up to the check-out terminal thing. Waited a bit. The girl in the camera section said "I can get you over here." I placed the cd down and noticed, on the credit card machine that there was a spot for a customer service evaluation. "Was your representative friendly?" it asked. I thought "Off to a good start" - After I swipped she placed the cd in a plastic bag and I felt the uncontrollable desire to tell her that this was for my wife and not for me, because I didn't want her to think that this guy with little hairs on his neck just wandered in here to get this for himself. - You feel me?
So, I opened the trap and said "This is for my wife, not me" - instead of lightly chuckling, as any normal person would do, she just gave me this look as if I just kicked a pile of puppies and said "ew-kay?" - Evaluation Answer?: NO. Not friendly at all!
Enclosing, as I exited the Supercenter, I overheard a lady on her cell. As I got closer she said "Why do I have 5 missed calls from your mother"? - This led me to think, if she called that many times wouldn't it be atleast remotely important? Shouldn't you call her first? What kind of relationship do you have that you would avoid calling her back, only to ask you spouse to do so? Makes me laugh.
So, I don't have it so bad. Neither do you, because you're nothing like me, and are spared the awkward moments that hunt me down and pounce on me like a panda bear in heat!!

Have an opportune day!

The Dave-O

That'll Teach Me...

Yesterday (Monday...worst day of the week) I decided not to say anything negative about anybody. Instead, just "positively re-describe" those individuals who wouldn't know tact if it migrated through their ear as they slept, venturing it's way to their brain causing a small explosion through the eye lids.......Well, don't EVER decide to refrain from negativity. It's at that very point that anything that can happen, will, even if it has happened before, only this time, in much greater fashion, doubling in number.
They're out there. People. People who just want to complain for the sake of complaining. - (before you get started, I do it for entertainment purposes. For theraputic reasons. - For YOUR benefit!)
But, yes, they're out there. Lurking in the hallways, waiting to pass you and ask stupid questions. Waiting to call and question the very existence of your brain. Seeking to find an atmosphere where common sense no longer has relevance. Striving to make sure that phrases such as "suposubly" replaces "suposedly" - or, when saying "right" sounds like "rat"

I had a Physician's office manager/wife call me at work. Her questions were simple. "Can I get a cash price for this?" and "How much will this patient owe?" - Seems meaningless enough. But how, I ask thee, does that turn into a 40 minute conversation/argument about things beyond my control. Peeps, if you call me and I use the phrase "I have no control over that, do you want to talk to the person that makes that decision?" Your response should be "Yes." - But what if it isn't? What if it's (gulp) "No." ?? - What on earth would make you want to continue to want to talk to me? I do NOT have the answer, yet, when asked to be transferred to the appropriate person.....you refuse! Who is responsibile for raping the generation that birthed ignorant, people set on being mean just for the sake of being mean? When I'm mean, it's to be taken comedically. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/comedically

Or, there's a lesson to be learned. - If you have a tendency to be a "lame insulter" - I would intentionally insult you with zingers that would make your grandma cry. The point? To make you a better insulter. I love you friends. I do it for your own good. - But, why be mean just for the sake of being mean? Why get some kind of satisfaction of demeaning, or belittling, detracting, and debasing? This woman was being the "Anti-Upgrade"

But I let it go. I was nice to her. Why? - 'Cause I was raised better. Which got me to thinkin'. Would these people, we'll call 'em "Strumpets," even notice negativity if it's returned? Seems like they would welcome the challenge, engage in a fuel-drivin opportunity to feed off of you just to return the fire.

Does this mean that the Dave-O is in a lose-lose situation? Does this mean that I have to accept the harshness that is dealing with this person(s) and not retaliate because it's just wasted? And, remember, I get no satisfaction from being mean. Again, it's a teaching tool.

It can't be.

So......I can't be mean........being nice causes heartburn and you die. What's my third option? - Weirdness!! - Maybe if I have the initial conversation, and then transfer the mode.

(Strumpet): "Can you tell me what the patient will owe"

(Dave-O): "Actually, I can't unless you send me over all of the information"

(Strumpet): "I will NOT send anything first." "I NEED to know EXACTLY right now!"

(Dave-O): "........1 Million Dollars!"

(Strumpet): "Excuse me?"

(Dave-O): "....The other day I saw a man in his underwhere walking on his porch"

(Strumpet): "What?" "What does that hav..

(Dave-O): "It was cold" "Why do you think he would do that?"

(Strumpet): "Okay, this is..

(Dave-O): "I was talking to a Russion about the amount of Jews in the Ukraine" "I didn't think that there were that many" "She said that there were plenty left over from the war" "I said, 'left over?' 'You make it sound like they were reheated!'"

(Strumpet): "........(click) dial tone -

Now did that actually take place? Of course not! Not YET!

But one day I will bask in the perfect glory of saying just the right thing to communicate the fact that the very people that hold themselves in VERY high esteem will be degraded to a level that will make the weep with tears that will put out their fire of greed for the "last word" - and I will, inevitably, reach down and offer a hand..........'cause I'm still a nice guy ya know! And I will say to them - "Don't worry, it's just a teaching tool" "Now, now." "Everything will be all rat"

That's all for now. As a bladder-of-fact, I have to go to the bathroom now! - Think I'm off to a pretty good start with this "not saying anything negative" thing!

You have yourself a pleasant one. - Dave

Witnessing to a child

How are you?
I'm great! Last Saturday, I brought my son Drew (8) to work with me. During the hour long drive I decided to teach him the plan of salvation. We've had "talks" before. And he's never at a loss for questions. So, during the drive, I asked him what sin was. He said he didn't know. I told him that it was the bad things we did. I told him what accountability was. - Old enough to make a decision, whether right or wrong, based on a particular responsibility. I used cleaning his room as an example. I told him where sin entered the world. - He quickly responded with a "Man, if they didn't eat the fruit they'd still be alive" - How did he realize that on his own? Can he grasp the concept of physical death as a result of sin? Apparently he can! I explained believing in Jesus was not just believing that He exists, but believing that He was born without an earthly daddy, living a perfect life, the necessity of His death, His resurrection, and His "coming back to get us" - I quoted that because it comes into play later.
I explained Satan to him. Where he came from, what he does now. He asked if I'd ever seen him. I told him I had no idea what he looks like but to always be prepared for an encounter. - Quickly reminding him not to be afraid because God created him as has control over him. He asked if Satan could kill us......what does the Bible say about that? (I'm asking myself at that point) - I told him that if Satan ever wants to do anything he needs God's permission and that if God says it's okay....then there's nothing to be afraid of. (It speaks of God commanding Satan not to kill Job....people assume this if for the rest of us) - My main point was that Drew should not fear Satan.
I explained the concept of "dying twice" - I told him that because of the initial sin our bodies were punished by having to die. I told him that after we die we could be with Jesus or die once more and never see his mommy or daddy again. I noticed that he was never "scared" of anything I said, but, instead, nodded accordingly taking what I said at face value. My intention was not to give him a guilt trip sandwich wrapped in Hell bread. He never laughed, he didn't ask a silly question, he just soaked it up and responded very naturally. Which was a relief to me 'cause I had no idea on how to talk about this to him and had been quite nervous in the past. Once we got to work he would ask a question and then remained quiet for a bit. Then, after about 20 minutes of playing his gameboy, he sat up and asked "when can you pray?" - I had already gone over that only saved people would not have to die twice and Jesus would come back for them, and to get this opportunity you would have to pray. - The kid knew he needed this and needed to know when he could do it. He came to me. He brought it up.
I told him that he could pray whenever he wanted to. He wanted to right then!
I brought him over to me....I asked him if he was a sinner. He said yes. I asked him if he believed in Jesus (and everything included) I told him that he would have to ask for forgiveness. He said okay, took my hands and said:
"Dear Lord. Um, I am a sinner, I believe in you and-um, I want you to forgive me so that you will come back to get me." "Jesus-name-i-pray-amen."
I asked if he was saved. He said "yes"
I asked how did he know. He said "because I prayed" I said "So, you just believe that Jesus will do what He says He's gonna do?" He said "Yup!"................How can that not be the most important day of my life up to this point?
That night, as we gathered on the floor to pray, he thanked God for saving him. And we've talked about it everyday since.

Ah, good times! Later, Dave

Bless This Mess

Well, the battle is over. The team led by the white guy really took it to the team led by the black guy. That's right, Dirk and the Mavs went in to San Antonio and beat Tim Duncan's Spurs! Only the first of two interesting contests for the evening.
Our next President is Barack Obama. When I pass an African American do I feel the urge to congratulate them? Should I congratulate this country that thought it would never see the day? My first move in this was to pray for our current President, and for Mr. Obama. Like it or not, God knows what He's doing. Even if America doesn't!
The country has spoken. Four years ago the liberal half of the country so desperately wanted Mr. Bush not to get elected they voted for the other guy. This time around, the liberal half so desperately wanted "their" guy in. Quite the switch. History has been made. And will continue to do so. Emotions all over the world will be at an all time high. My grandparents' generation is suffering from chest pain this morning. My parent's generation, for the most part, will react mostly split. You got your celebrities, former athletes, red-necks, splitting their age group right down the middle. One side cursing, the other celebrating. My generation is ushering in what very well should be the Last Days with a liberal domination. My kids' generation.....well, time will tell.
I called my eight year old in this morning to tell him who won. He boo'd at first. Mostly, cause he's eight and competitive. But I told him that we are to respect the President, as in the "position." I told him to pray for him, regardless of how he feels about him personally.
As a Christian, values should be an important factor in any decision made.
My gut feeling.........I'm turning into "that guy" - The guy that watches the president, waiting for a slip-up. Waiting for a tremor in the force to alert me that my instincts are correct. You know, what Hollywood has done the past 8 years!
As I watched a literal group of millions crying, chanting, hoisting banners, I could not imagine this happening to any former president to this degree. Oprah was crying, Rev. Jesse Jackson was crying, Joe the plumber was crying.
To Christians - Everything you've been taught. Everything you assume about the end of the world, must be running through your minds.
To the Lost - You will notice Christians being more peculiar than ever. It will do you good to ask questions.
To Mr. Bush - Thanks for 8 years of service. It's unfair to wonder how anyone else would handle their presidency after the country that had sworn you in was under attack 7 months later.
To Mr. Obama - You've got a BIG responsibility. I'm watching you..........and praying for you.
To America - We've sailed right past blessed into "spoiled." My prayer is to be still and know that God is God. Regardless of who is elected.
To my sons - You will have children that may live in the year 2100. You've got 90 years to keep this country in good shape. You will probably see a woman president...maybe a black woman...maybe you will be president. It's up to me to allow you to be the best version of yourselves.
To God - You created this world as perfection. I apologize that we blew it so early. You knew back then what would happen everyday since. You knew that "this world" would never again see perfection in it's present state. You saw this day coming. You see the next 70 years. This has "already" happened for you. Even so, come quickly!

God bless America.

"Use the Force, Batman!"

Happy post-Halloween. And how happy my kids were to go trick-or-treating for the first time.
Friday night went to my brother and sister-in-law's house. Drew dressed like Darth Vader, and Caden dressed like Batman. - Is there some reason they like the "all-black costumes with capes?" Kind of dark isn't it? What kind of raising am I doing?
So, off to the sidewalks of Frisco we go. We hit about 12-15 houses seeing all kinds of creatures. Caden ran into a Bat-girl. (I think they exchanged numbers!)
The boys would run up to a house, ring the door-bell, and wait anxiously until someone would open - at that point both kids would feel the urge to SCREAM "TRICK OR TREATERS"
I guess it was our fault that we didn't "train" them on how the process went. I say that because, on the first two houses, Caden, soon after the door would open, would all but walk in their house. He would stick his head in and point things out like "look, a dog" He was apparently under the impression that we were "visiting" these people with strangely decorated front yards!
Drew was no less the entertaining commentator poking out phrases such as "Is this one open?" as we'd pass another house. Or when we passed by other kids he would say "Happy Trick or Treat"
But him calling the other kids "customers" really did it for me! "Look, more customers"
Alas, the crowning moment: We basically made a huge circle and decided not to tell them that we were going back to the house. Instead, we just took another route and ended up there seeing if they would notice. Well, they didn't and it was great. They just strolled up to the house, rang the door-bell, and, when Stan answered the door........it was all over but the shouting!! "Awesome" Drew shouted. Did he think that Stan was in some strange person's house? Was he amazed that we were instantaneously transported back to our original destination without his knowledge? Or is he just a dramatic little evil Jedi that likes to scream? - Probably that one!
Once we were done, the boys took on the role of guest door answerer and candy passer-outer. Caden was a bitter-sweet host. When someone came to our door and knocked or ran, he would jump up "someone's here!" then he would open the door AND INVITE THEM IN! Honestly, when's he gonna get it? He was sad that nobody stayed. Just got their candy and left. All in all, it was a success. I was a little surprised, as the evening went on, how the age of the trick or treaters went up. I swear there were guys with full beards - real ones! - bumming for free snickers bars.
Abby's costume was the cutest. (She went as a baby with Narcolepsy!)

Halloween '08 in the books. Pagan holiday's alive and well - and Drew got a new Light Saber out of it!

Later, Dave-O

The Jams of Traffic

Greetings,
I hate traffic. Why does everybody in the Tri-County area decide to get up, get in their vehicular substances and PULL IN FRONT OF ME. It's an emotional raping. Stop, go, stop, wait, go, stop....sometimes ya just need a trigger to pull!
And why is it that I'm so nice 'a driver that I let EVERYONE in my lane? 4 lanes, packed, and there are people on the entry ramp trying to merge on the highway...guess who ends up stopping? Yup. I'm just a nice, courteous, driver. Where'd I get that from? Did my parents raise a cautious, friendly driver? Maybe......well THANKS A LOT!
So I'm driving in this morning all by myself, and I pull into Starbucks. The line is long and I have to drive past the line, turn around, and then get in line. There was a car following me. They knew good and well what I was doing. Did that stop them from whooping around and cutting in front of me as I did a donut in the parking lot? Of course not! - Nowhere in the Bible does it mention being a courteous driver. It does mention engulfing other chariots in flames!! Maybe I can try that one.
Then I hit the six three five (hwy635) where cars mate and multiply as they commute, and I get cut off almost causing my Grrrrande Pumkin Spice Latte' to spill on my lap! (Roll the "r" friends)
On Friday's it's not so bad 'cause people have the day, or take the day off. My suggestion is....more people should take days off! You build up the time, you've earned it......let's turn "rush hour" to "cruise les than an hour"
Ever notice when talking about gas prices, whether increasing or decreasing, that someone ALWAYS has a better version of a price?
"Gas is $2.72 in Plano" "I saw it for $2.63 in Richardson"
You can never get the last word if you bring it up. Just once I would like to say "Gas is $2.19 in Greenville" and the response is people bowing in reverence, while humming in unison "Amazing Grace".......or something close to that. - Try it. Bring it up at work. You will get a rebuddle everytime.
So, last week I had a concert in Rendon TX - Saloot! Knew this one was going to be interesting 'cause there were deer antlers hanging over the bathroom door. As I looked out from the bus I noticed very inappropriately dressed teenagers. Checkered shorts, pony tails, ear-rings....these were just the guys! Was this "bring a thug to church day?" - I guess it doesn't matter what they wear as long as they're at church. - And believe me, we made 'em pay by forcing them to listen to us!
Lastly, I'd like to share with you an answering machine message that I heard.
Ring: "Hello, you've reached the Johnson's" "No one is here to take your call........I guess it would be a good time to rob us" "Leave your name......" - LOL

Happy 29th birthday to my wife Andrea! We will be seeing baby Abby tonight. Very excited about that.
I hope everyone has a wonderful next couple of days and the next time you hear Johnny Cash sing "I Walk The Line" think of someone taking a field sobreiety test!!

Later, Dave-O

Now hear this!

Couldn't think of a good title.
Thanks for coming back.
It's Saturday morning 2:55am.........Well, since you ask, let me tell you. The wife went to spend the night with her sister and help with the baby. I never sleep well when she's not around. Plus all this BRILIANT stuff was rolling around my head and I had to write it.
First off, how is Baby Abby? - Doing very well. Eating good, crying good, keeping her dad up all night to blog about breastfeeding.....and apparently, now, has me doing it as well.
Little Abby is 6 days old. Which is great 'cause God created Man on the sixth day. Now I guess that's not really the same thing but it makes you wonder of all the things we can compare the different stages of our kids life to. My oldest son Drew is 8. President Bush is about to complete an 8 year term. My youngest son Caden is 5. And he, well he looooves Kung Fu Panda!
Okay so nothing really brilliant is rolling around. Maybe I wrote this for someone out there who needed to feel special at this moment. I told someone the other day that they were one oneth of a person. - Now don't you feel special?
Did I tell you about the "windshield washer?" - About a week ago I was driving home and had to stop for gas. I went inside and paid a couple hundred dollars for half a tank, came back to the truck and started fueling up. I look over and, walking towards me from the store, was an older gentleman with a spray can and a rag. So, I'm thinking, "great, I'm gonna be mugged by Schneider" (ya know, the guy from One Day At A Time?)
It was some salesman trying to sell me a windshield cleaner. He made himself at home, sprayed without my permission, and began wiping. - Awkward Meter ring a bell? It was-a-peaking!!
He finished cleaning the driver's side and I said "You got a card or something, I got to go" - He gave me his card and started CLEANING MY FENDER. Persistent old booger. I finally got in shut and locked the door, cranked er up and took off. But, boy was my windshield clean!! That crap worked!! (Abby, don't say crap)

Well, the moral of the story is....you really shouldn't blog at 3am. And now, I'd like to talk about breastfeeding....kidding. - Have a wonderful next couple of days!!

Dave-O out.

Uncle Dave-O!!

That's right friends and neighbors. Abby Jewel Wagnon joined us at 12:10am Sunday morning.
Being brotherless and sisterless this is my only shot at uncle-ness.

So, Tuesday 10/14 we admit my sister-in-law Jill to Medical City. (Not really a city) What if it was though? A whole town with nurses, physicians, and cna's? "Excuse me sir, can you help me find an eating joint?" "Sure, we have this great big cafeteria, and some of the housekeeping employees will be taking naps there" Instead of IHOP they have IHMO's - that kills!.....What was I talking about? Oh yeah, our dear Abby. Hey! Nevermind.
So, we were told that in the hospital Jill would remain until our precious arrival makes herself known. Saturday night rolls around and I'm on location in Gilmer TX. A place where even squares can have a ball. I'm back stage in between our two sets (5:00p and 8:00p) and my phone goes berserk. I had simultaneously (not an easy word to spell!) received 3 text messages from her. You see getting a signal on your cell phone is a little like eating carrots and pooping office supplies. - Close to impossible! As soon as I hit a "good" spot my phone just lit up. Unbeknownst (another tough one) to me these texts were about an hour and a half late. I thought it was at real time. They basically said "WE'RE HAVING THE BABY, YOU HAVE TO COME GET THE BOYS!!!!" - Uh, I'm close to 3 hours away near Deliverance! So, I try to reply and, apparently, you need to have atleast one little-ole' bar on your phone for you to be able to send anything as well. There were only two place to receive such service. Up the backstage stairs leaning over the rail and.....AT the piano. So, I'm playing and texting at the same time. I either misspelled horribly, or played the wrong song! - Would these people notice anyway? So I get a response that I need to call my mom to see if she can get the boys. Then I play a solo and get fanned by a pshycho emcee. Then finish, climb up the backstage stairs, lean over the balcony and talk to mom.
Turns out the boys fell asleep at the hospital and that part turns out okay. So I get to the hospital around 12:45p. Saw cute little Abby. Picked up the boys and headed home. Got home about 2:17am - get the boys to bed lay down only to have to wake up 3 hrs and 45 minutes later to get leave for a concert in Mesquite Sunday morning! So there I am on stage playing, staring at the boys with this "YOU BETTER NOT MOVE" look. - They actually were very good and I didn't have to worry about them. After the concert we went back to the hospital to see baby Abby. Drew got to hold her. Caden got to ask her questions like "Are you dreaming about Kung Fu Panda?" I got to hold her and watch her sleep. I rocked her very gently, but if I stopped she would squirm a little as if to say "You don't stop until I tell you to Uncle Dave" and then she'd say "What a great uncle you are Uncle Dave"
Seriously she is a remarkable little person to win my heart so quickly. I love her, and love that the boys have a girl cousin. A "cousette" if you will.
The sad thing is, as tired as a weekend that this was for me, I'm probably the fifth tiredest of the group. Andrea and her mom, "granny Kathy" as Abby will call her if I have anything to do about it, did a lot of driving back and forth with very little sleep putting up with a duo of hyper boys. Kathy had to drive my truck close to Sherman yesterday so that "Pops" (can't you just here little Abby say 'Pops'?) could see her. Stan, the dad, just made it in on Thursday and had to play host to a slew of family and friends this weekend.
But the tiredest of all has got to be the real champion of this holiday weekend - ME, IT'S GOT TO BE ME DARN-IT! I mean, I had to do two performances and everyth.........kidding.
Congratulations Jill! You win the award of most tiredest. You did very well, and have started the path to becoming a wonderful mother. In one early morning setting you've managed to make me an uncle, Andrea an aunt, your parents now have their first grand-daughter, my sons now have their first cousin, Stan has become a father......mostly making me an uncle though! You also win the award of raising a beautiful daughter (neice to me!) that will ask you all kids of questions like "Why does Caden talk so fast?" "Why does Drew like Mario Bros?" "Why does granny kathy keep it so cold then so hot in her house? "Why does Pops have a dump truck?" Why does aunt Andrea always want to babysit me?" and.........why does my uncle travel to places like Gilmer to play the piano....and why is he soooo good looking....and why does he blog about everybody but always manage to make it about himself??"

Welcome to the world Abby. We look forward to everyday with you!

East Texas Charm

Thanks for coming back!
One of the great things about traveling with a quartet is the people you meet along the way. One of the awful things.....is, again, the people you meet. Saturday afternoon about 2:00p we leave the bus barn (Plano) headed for Gilmer, the Mullett capital of Texas! We are heading to the Gilmer Civic Center - or, as I like to call it....The Mule Barn. I'm not making fun of people, just...well, yes I'm making fun, but not in a bad way.
I knew we were in for a treat when we past an eating joint called "Double D Sausage" - Need I go on? I think not (in case we have underage viewers) (or overage viewers with weak stomaches that will send me nasty comments) Where was I?....Oh yeah Mullettville. So we arrive for our concert that we are sharing with a hay-trailer-load full of other groups (you like the analogy?)
It started at like 8:00a and went ALL day. And, believe me, those people stayed all day. And, really believe me.....it looked like it!!
So we set up our table, get our suits on, mix and mingle. We saw groups that we used to sing with, got caught up on the Local Gospel Rumors that I'm not at liberty to go into. Mostly 'cause I didn't talk to anyone long enough to remember what they said. Well, it came time for our set. We were supposed to go on at 5:00p but the previous group finished a little early. (This comes into play later)
So we take the stage. **Quick note: Our lead singer was not able to attend and we had a fill-in. This really doesn't ever come into play. Just fyi..
So we do our set number of songs. The audience was a good size (numerically) but they were not totally in to it. We were getting ready to walk off stage after closing and the emcee came out and said "Can ya do one mower?" (Not mispelled, that's the way he talked) *Note the earlieness of the previous group. Then, as I'm searching the Replay Machine (recording device that stores and plays our tracks that I'm not that familiar with so I'm now panicking trying to find another song 'cause usually their pre-selected) someone from the audience shouts "Turn the piano player loose" - Well, we know what that means. The Dave-O has to bring the HEAT! So I tear off into a fast diddy of a solo, the audience is loving it....THEN I notice see this guy dressed like a scarecrow come over with a piece of paper fanning my hands as I play yelling "Boy he's on fire" and "Look at him go"......He stayed there until I was finished with my song! I've never elbowed anyone in the face while I've played but that was the closest that I came. - That was our emcee ladies and gentlemen. Hoo-Wee! He shouted. Did get a standing ovation though. Should have worn overalls!
Nothing like having a concert next to a rodeo. They just perambulate (means walk) over, make 'em a plate of bbq and walk up to your table and make comments like "Saw you up thar on that thar peenaner" "You's purty good" - I could only respond with a respectful "Well, thank you Mayor".......
If that wasn't enough. We had to go back on at 8:00p for basically the same thing and, believe me once again, the night was just getting started!

Praise Song With a Bite!

Welcome back peeps! - Jerry, my IT friend at work, and I were having a discussion about a VERY important topic.....Golf. I was actually whining that he never invited me. (Even though I actually played back in the spring with him, his father-in-law, and a gentleman from Wills Point - (Can I get a shout-out to the big WP?!!)
As to which he responded "Dude, I've invited you twice and you told me no." - Which is actually true, and prompted a "You want to go this weekend?" So, this past Saturday morning at 8:15am The Dave-O teed off a BEAUTIFUL shot that had this majestic-like curve and landed some 48 ft. from the green on which I was standing. Not a good start. Things improved slightly during the day. But it didn't have much of a choice! I only hit the water twice (most of the time not making it to the water hazard due to lack of distance....I'll blame the clubs!) All in all, I had a good time - and haven't been asked to go again yet.
Sunday - The wife and I were in Sunday School and the preacher comes up to me and asks "Have you ever led singing before" - Which translates "You WILL be leading the song service this morning!" My darling wife answered for me "Yes, but he does it while at the piano" (accompanied with a sly grin)
So, I go grab a songbook and come up with the service order. This is a small-town church so I new they would be forgiving. The service began. I stood up gave a quick announcement and gave the page number, sat down, played the intro and everyone joined in - well, not everyone. You see. I don't play churchy. Half to most of you know that I put a little rythym with it when I play. Let me tell what I noticed. Three old ladies leaning over nearly in a 45 degree angle to see past the people sitting in front of them. Then they began pokin' each other and gigglin' like school girls. (Quick note: David knows how to charm the blue-hairs) I was playing THEIR kind of music. Then, there was this teenager on one of the back rows that whipped out her cell before the first verse was finished and started recording me. If I end up on you-tube I better be gettin' some royalties! But it wasn't until after the song service that the best thing was brought to my attention. ~~~Let's go back to Sunday morning at about 8:34am ~~~ I sat both of my boys down and had a talk with them. They have a tendency to talk and not behave during church. (Hard to believe since their my kids huh?) This, coming from the guy who, in the 1st grade if you walked into his class and there was a desk besides the teachers'......it was mine! So, I told the boys "You sit there and be quiet unless we're singing. Then you can sing as loud as you want. ~~~Back to church service~~~ I sit down and get settled and my lovely wife leans over and tells me that he was belting out his favorite church hymn, that we all know and love - Go ahead sing along if you know it - SCOOBY DOOBY DOO...WHERE ARE YOU...WE NEED SOME HELP FROM YOU NOW! - I guess I didn't specify WHICH song to sing loudly.

Time for random observations that require little thought.....Coming back from playing golf I drove through Terrell. You ever notice that when someone no longer wants a couch the put it on the curb? Of course ya do. Well, this was the first time that I saw a couch on the curb with someone sitting down on it! Were they resting, testing the comfort factor, hunting for loose change? What kind of town is that?
Last night we admitted my sister-in-law into Medical City. Where she will remain until the baby arrives. Pray that the blood pressure remains normal. - Pray that my kids are quiet when we visit. Pray that the tv volume works right.

Lastly, we got home last night about 10:00pm - Upon entering the house I heard a sound from about two acres away that wasn't very heartening. Nothing like a little GUNSHOT to say goodnight! I heard it again, peaked my head out the door (don't ask me why) and to my surprise my neighbor hollered over to me...."Armadillos" - ............just nodded my head and went back inside humming Scooby Doo all the way to bed.

later, Dave-O

The Dryer Demon

Well I took off today. Hoping to relax, do a little housework, catch up on some well deserved Spider Solitaire (yeah, I rock it when I'm home alone!) - Been moving couches to get maximum vacuum utilization. Thing were going well....until the dryer stopped. I was sitting happily at the lap-top and I assumed the cycle of clothes that I started, cause I'm a great husband, was completed. It was not. It stopped right in the middle of "More Dry" - before "Optimum Dry" and "Less Dry" Why are there so many drys? And why isn't this one working? Those were a few of the many thoughts racing through my head. So I said to myself, I said 'What are you gonna do about it big boy?" After flipping breakers, unloading the existing, still wet towels, spinning the..........whatever the thing inside that spins inside is, and turning the knob - I finally got it working. Reloaded, and did a taunting dance. Of the "Who's the man?" variety.
Didn't have to call anybody. No in-laws, maintenance guys, IT guys...did it myself. You take the winning battles when you get them! - And I'm easily amused.

Pray for my sister-in-law Jill. She is on bed rest until my neice is born. (Thanksgiving-ish) A good early sign that this little girl already has mommy and the rest of the family WHUPPED!

Time to get ready for the weekend. Longhorns by 12. - Gotta go...the dryer is smoking!!

Later, Dave-O

Everyday People

Appreciate you returning.
Today's post will consist of various people in the world that have it in their agenda to cross paths with me. Maybe it's some form of punishment, testing, or other brand of entertainment. (God doesn't get bored, does he?)
First, Friday afternoon, I'm trying to leave work, get my stuff together and so forth. I'm strolling across the lobby and this older, Spanish, gentleman approaches me and asks if we do drug tests. I told him that we did, but it would be for either pre-employment testing, or for pre-op tests which would require a Physician's order. He told me that he didn't have a dr's order. It was for a student at his school. (He was apparently on staff) I re-informed him that we could not do it. He said "are you positive?" (My initial mental response was) "I don't know, I've never been tested" Assuming he would not perceive the wonderful, harmless humor, I passed and, instead said "Yes, we cannot do the drug test" He then, lightly screams, if that's even a description, "But I need to know if this kid is on Pot!!" I apologized again and asked that he take it to a dr's office. After noticing his blood-shot eyes, I wondered if it was really his and he was trying not to get busted! He then went to the operator to ask her the same questions. As I walked back by I overheard him say "that's what the other guy said" she responded by saying "well, he's my boss and he knows what he's talking about" he replied "you people are no help" she said "well, we're not the ones with loser-drug-dealing-pot-heads, now are we?" - no, she didn't say that, but that would have been great!
Moving on, As I was driving home I noticed a sign that said "Palm Reader" I wonder, do they have caller ID?.......Wouldn't they know who it is? I think I'll call one of them up and say it's someone else. See if they notice.
So I pull into Greenville, pick up the kids, and then head to Wal-Mart to pick up the lovely wife who has dropped off the car to get the oil changed, cause The Dave-O don't do the "home oil changes" And, if you ever come to my house, you won't see any oil stains in the drive way. Mostly cause we don't have a real drive way, just a rock trail.
Well, I notice that I have to get gas. I texted to let the lovely wife know. I know she wants me to hurry, and I'm starving......enter "gas station lady" Why in Hades does THIS woman arrive at MY pump before me? Very busy gas station. 3 people to a pump. The first car finishes and drives away. I'm waiting for the van in front of me that is occupied by someone apparently made of concrete, to pull forward. She finally does and then.......DOESN'T GET OUT for like 2 minutes. What was she doing? Meditating, praying, watching the VP Presidential debate on those little TV's that some versions of vans come with depending on which package the salesmen talks you into???
So she drips out...THEN WALKS IN TO PAY. Comes back, begins pumping, all the while on her cell, probably talking to her husband complaining about hospitals that don't do free random drug tests! She finishes, AND THEN STARTS TO GO BACK INSIDE THE STORE. She realizes that there is a relatively angry young gentlemen in a truck behind her with two small children staring over the dash with judgemental face tones, comes to her senses, throws up a hand and motions "Sorry" and then moves the van. By this time the lovely wife has walked from Wal-Mart to the gas station 20 acres away.
Lastly, the "Flag Man" You know, when there fixing, I mean "fixing" the two lane roads and they block down to one lane and you have to wait until the guy with the sign that reads "stop/slow" motions you around. Even though I'm always mad at the delay, I always waive at the flag guy. I think it's a nice thing to do. It's usually hot out there and he probably gets a lot of dirty looks from angry drivers on their way to gas stations for ANOTHER long wait.
Anyway, I was sixth in line and I noticed that every time a car passed the flag guy he would waive. Turns out EVERYBODY waives at the flag guy. These are his duties. Hold the sign up, waives = number of cars that go buy. By the time I got to him I waived, he waived back but looked like he was VERY tired of putting his hand up and down. - You know when you see a program at school or a play and they tell you to hold your applause until the end. The flag guys should have a sign that says "Stop/Slow" and "Waiving not neccessary unless you're the only car, or unless you're the last car in the current line!"
Then again, maybe that won't help. What do I know? I'm not a palm reader!

Later

"A nice rink to it"

Welcome,
Saturday, the day of my son Drew's birthday party. We decided to go all out this year. But since Greenville only has a bowling alley and a skating rink, we went with the latter. Anyone care for a quick lesson in the history of roller skating? Bear with me. 100 years ago a woman put wheels under her shoes to help her shop faster. The sport was born and grew to national fame in the 70's. Here we are 30 plus years later and it's...well....a good place to have an 8 yr old b-day party! - Not a bad history. Mostly made up? Yes!
My parents were LEGENDS on wheels back when they were in there dating years. They ran a skating rink and, in it's heyday, was the place to be on a Friday night in a little town I like to call Wilmer...cause that's the name of the town. Shout-out!
This means the ability to handle oneself on the four roller-wheeled shoes of death was in my blood. And, I'm not shy about saying, that I can more than stay upright on a pair! But my son has taken the torch and ran...er... rolled with it. He is much faster than me, and is much more balanced than I ever will be.
Short story: We were racing, he was beating me, I pushed him down! End of story.
Kidding (only about the pushing) And, by the way, the music that is played now is quite different than the 70's roller-disco- funky town-where ya from you sexy thang-staying live diddies that once penetrated the walls of the slick floored spheres of popcorned smelling arenas!
Nowadays questioned are posed to the listening audience. Such as just what exactly ARE you going to do with all that junk....all that junk....all that junk? Or maybe you're a girl. Maybe you kissed a girl. Maybe you liked it. Ooh. A rabbit! I think I'll chase. Drives me crazy when old people (and by old I mean anyone older than me) do not get the lyrics right to songs that they do not approve of and are quoting. Such as "Whoops, there it is" ..c'mon...whoops? Or the classic.."Don't touch this nah, nah, nah, nah." Miss that MC Hammer. Where was I? ....Oh yeah. Flo-Rider came on and just about the time Shawty was going low Drew started this dance as he was rolling around the rink. He had his arms out to the side and was-a bouncing up and down to the beat. I would have stopped him but I was too busy trying to catch up (and dancing the same way at that moment.) You WP alumni remember me dancing? Awesome....ly embarrasing to white people everywhere! Hasn't stopped me. Or Drew.
The rink had a mascot. It was a Kangaroo. It made two kids nervous. One to the point of screaming in tears. Drew had his picture made with it and I'll post it soon. All in all. It was a good Mario Bros. themed party. Caden (my 5yr old) had fun as well, and got caught trying to sneak away with some of Drew's toys.
Another year. Another party is done. Another human dressed as an animal. Another cyring kid....probably aimed at the father of the birthday boy's dancing!
Later, Dave-O

(the views expressed in this blog do not represent the views of the national skating association and reserve the right to sue if Mr. Smith if he ever makes up crap about the "history of skating' again)

Code Blue: Come one, come all!

Welcome.
Friday 10:35am. I'm in the Business Office of the hospital where I work. I'm asking an employee something and I hear an overhead page that exclaimed "Code Blue CT" "Code Blue CT" - For the un-medical of us, CT is where we do our Cat Scans. Quick history: My hospital is a "Surgery Center" - it does not specialize in emergency situations outside of an OR room. We have very, very...VERY few patients that require cpr due to a very inactive ER, and the types of patients we see. (18 - 50 - something year olds having Bariatric surgery. Or, Orthopaedic patients.) Quick plug: If you or someone you know is interested in bariatric surgery let me know.
So, when I heard the code called - I assumed it was a drill, because we have one every few months or so. Well, it was not a drill. I scurried on down to CT where I discovered a fairly large man receiving chest compressions. Questions from the reading audience? Yes, you behind the screen. "Why would a Business Office Director have any business assisting during a code?" I'm glad you asked! First of all, when I was 18 years old I was an ER Tech at Baylor Dallas. I was trained in trauma situations. Trained to know what and where medical supplies was. Trained not to panic. I've now been in the medical field one way or another for close to 12 years. - ...........And I was nosey! Now, in spite of my title, I was still asked to run and get medications from the Pharmacy, an IV pump from the ER, and to get the ICU bed ready. I didn't let this go to my head though. Due to the lack of these situations the Quality/Risk Manager was asking the same things from the Maintenance guy! Also there out of curiosity.
It was a little weird to see the panic on everyone's face. It was just like the TV show ER, except no background music, and there was more unqualified people than qualified, and there was no love triangle with hollywood guest stars.....Okay, it was nothing like ER. But, I was happy be there for the team that was working together to save this guy. We got him stable enough to move to ICU where they held him until we got him transferred to Doctor's Hospital.
At the end of the day I was talking to the Administrator and I told her that I was proud of everyone and the way they responded. Her response tickled me a little. She shook her head, as if to agree with me, and then belted out a "He is lucky to be alive!" - As if to say (and a direct quote from my wife) - "That is one place you do NOT want to have a code!" ....or be a maintenance guy!

Later, Dave-O

Say it isn't sew.

Welcome.
Not a good day when the button of your pants zings off like shot through a gun! It's not my fault that they shrunk. Also, the sole of my left shoe came apart as I entered my working environment. Not my fault either. I left my good pair on the bus. Well, THAT is my fault. What do I mean by bus? Do I take local transportation to work now you ask? Why no. But I'll speak about the "bus" at a later date. For all the wardrobe malfunctions - I blame global warming. Maybe someone will give me $700,000,000,000.00 to help me by new clothes.

Well, today is my oldest son's 8th birthday. And, as he so eloquently quoted, "even though it's not my party it's still 'My Day'" In fact, I think he's taking today through the weekend as "His Four Days." He comes by this honestly. Some may think that he gets it from me. Let's go over things that he gets from me.
He loves to watch the Mavs. He will scream out "Go Dirk." - and then say "Are we going for the Blue Team?" He loves to play catch with the football. (Something I also enjoyed with my dad at that age). He like to mix it up a bit. He says "Down.....Set......Kiss a girl" "Down.....Set......Jump off the roof!" Eventually leading to "Hut" which is pointless because I'm not going to take off running due to the laughter. He loves to play Mario Bros. Also a childhood hero of mine up until last year.
I could go on, the crooked pinkies, the insatiable desire to make people laugh, but I guess the one thing that I'm glad that I passed on to him is the ability to pray. He has the most beautiful prayers. They may be meaningless to some adults, but, when he is thankful for "cars, so people don't have to walk, food and drink, teachers, police-men so we are safe, and for his mommy and daddy to be good at work..." well, the tears you're welling say it enough. Happy Birthday Drew!

3K Close Call

Hey there.
So, this past Saturday I'm on a tractor, mowing in the middle of a field (which is not a bad place to be) and I notice, off in the distance, a group of bicyclists riding by in this 3K thing. What's the "K" stand for? "Kill me if I'm ever caught wearing one of those tight suits?" And by "group" I mean like a-MILLION of 'em! They passed by a couple of times and I stopped paying attention. This comes to haunt me later. I finish the back-yard and move to the front. Yes, it takes a freakin' tractor to mow my yard. So, I'm going along side the fence. I mean CLOSE. I mean scrape the paint off with the wire (pronounced WAR) close! Then, I noticed a big....dead....bird on the ground. Is "on the ground" redundant? 'Cause I guess it wouldn't be in the air would it?
Well, as I'm passing and staring at the fataled fowl, I wasn't paying attention at how close I was to the road. A soon as I looked up to turn, about forty suicidal, speedo-wearing people whizzed, by at however fast a group of sorts travels when it's sneaking up on people riding tractors causing near Kubota abandonment. Missed the trumper (tractor bumper) by eleven inches. I slammed on the clutch.....and threw a nasty look, all the while hoping that the leader would trip up causing a rubber-two-wheeled domino effective avalanche not meant to be seen by anyone under 6 years old!
But, alas, no avalanche, and the dead bird remainined. Probably had a heart attack after being approached by Lance Armstrong's posse'.

The end has been reached, your comments are welcome.
Go Cowboys! Go Palin!
Have a pleasant one.

The Dave-O

1st Blog

Welcome to the post Special Friends Newsletter 1st initial Blog.
If you don't know what the Newsletters are just hang on. I'll post them in an archive for your viewing pleasure. Warning! - You may be mentioned in there and not in a very attractive way perhaps....

I'd like to speak a minute on what topic I'd like to be covering in the future.
1. Ignorance with southern accents.
2. Oxymorons
3. Phrases that catch my ear and are worth disecting in a very judgemental way!

I will promise not to be lame unless it's over-the-top lame in which case I will be joking and will assume that you know that.

So hang on, enjoy the read, if you reply, try not to be funny - it doesn't look good on you!