Do You Like.......?

Have you ever received a random e-mail or text from someone that you know pretty well and it catches you off guard?
Out of the blue one of my co-workers e-mailed me this in the middle of a conversation.
Coworker: "Thanks for your help"
Me: "No problem"
Coworker: "Do you like sausage balls?"
Me: "............Random. But yeah, I guess...?"

Then she explained the reasoning behing the question. She was going to have her mother make some and then bring up to work. - Maybe THAT should have been the opening line!

Another came from my tenor singer. I mean this was out of the freakin' BLUE!
Text: Do you like turnips? - First of all NO! Who does? Second, give me the bottom line first. Tell me that you've recently...cropped?...Farmed?....dug up turnips and you are giving them away. Don't open with your random queries that all seem to deal with food!

I woke up one morning to the sound of the weatherman on the tv. Not ON the tv but, well, you get it! Anyway, he was so enthusiastic about the "high" today that I just wonder if the people up north, where they have "real" winters, must laugh their face off that we get 1/2 an inch of snow and SHUT THE STATE DOWN! Or it's LEVEL ORANGE today. Is that the ozone alert or are we under a terror alert?!

Moving on, whilst driving to work, that same morning, I noticed two ornaments hanging from the bumper of a truck. One was a horseshoe. Somewhere there is a horse with an uneccesary limp!
The other item was an oversized (I ASSUME they were oversized) pair of testicles! Somewhere there is a giant with a very high voice!
Also, that very same morning, I was listening to the traffic report (why? - because I drifted off in thought and wasn't paying attention) - I never care to know the status of traffic. I prefer to be surprised by a sea of tail-lights out of nowhere! Well, the traffic announcer said that there was a "fender bender".....is this the best they got? If you choose to stray from "accident" and insert a clever rhyming description, does is have to be the same one? How about "Bumper Thumper" - "Spoiler Boiler" - "Trunk Bump" - "Vehicle Pickle" ? Just to keep my attention.

To cap this drive to work off, I pulled in to a fast food joint drive thru for a breakfast treat (I feel as if I deserve it after putting up with the world and her weird ways) - I placed my order, pulled forward as instructed, and she gave me my total. I handed her my card then she swiped it on the OUTSIDE swipe thingy. But she gave me this look like: "(SIGH) There is a credit card machine on the outside of the building sir. Do I really have to process this for you??? - I felt so judged. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm used to handing it to the person. I never know if they are working. What if I swipe and it's broke, then they have to tell me "Oh no, I have to do it"? I don't want that kind of confrontation - I just want my breakfast burrito "bleep!"

Have a wonderful day and be careful driving, so you don't have a jam-ka-bob!....No good?

Dave