If Necessary??

Hello you!
I was at work changing out the toner in our wonderful copy/fax/printer/scanner/stapler/machine and I was wondering what to do with the empty trash toner. I noticed on the box that it said "If toner is swallowed, dilute by drinking a large amount of water. Consult a doctor if necessary." - I would like to dissect "Consult a doctor if necessary" - Does that mean "If it's necessary, THEN call a doctor?" Because, wouldn't you do that anyway? Or, does it mean "If you need a doctor, THEN consult?" In that case, if you knew that you needed a doctor....what would be the purpose of not consulting? Perhaps you like the taste of toner. The magenta really goes with swiss cheese and bread. Maybe it takes the stain of your teeth. Maybe you are trying to commit inkicide!
There are numerous reasons to avoid medical attention, but are there any reasons to print redundant things on packages? - Ah yes, lawsuits! They make it mandatory for us to put un-necessary things on things that prevent us from suing because - OOPS I accidentlly had a shot of toner and NOBODY told me that it may result in the necessity of a doctor AND that I should call just in case of consumption!!
Or, OOPS this coffee I just ordered is hot! Ice is cold! and so forth.
What if we took it a few steps further?
Caution: Don't jump off this mountain.
And, if it happened, pretty sure this is what the court reporter would dictate at the hearing:
"Upon notice of said mountain and the ensuing drop that would take place upon jumping forth hereby removing their person from the existing gravity and letting the newly chosen gravity to accept them and retract their being southward duely in the head-first position, at much speed to the earth, the plaintiff, now dead, being represented by family, still alive, wishes to press suit against the state, said owner of mountain. Wherewithal noting that the sign said "don't" and not "you'd better not" and "jump" instead of "leap" - the plaintiff, still dead, being represented by family, by marriage, would like to institute that, though they better not leap...the lept, henceforth and forevermore hereafter separating their limbs from the original placement and smashing the head that read the mal-formed sign, causing sudden, immediate death, as well as brief mental anguish, knowing that, once landed, the plaintiff, yes dead, represented by family, well, a cousin-in-law with nothing to do thinking they are in the will, would be made a spectacle of in this court, hence makes notice that said sign seems silly sitting so solemnly surrounded on a mountain when they should obviously place it at the spot where the plaintiff, now as flat as a 7 hour-old pancake ran over by a semi on the highway during a hot July day, is now buried. Therebywithalhenceforthness symbolizing that this is what happens if you jump.

Suit amount - Three Ka-Zillion dollars and South America!

Warning: Don't Read This Blog, or drink toner!

Later,

Magenta