It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's...Grasshopper Girl??

Howdy Readers!

Not everyone can pull off tube tops and lepoard skin skirts.....BUT THEY SHOULD! Just pull them right off before leaving the house and wrap yourself in an appropriately placed Beach Towel!! - Here's a scale in which to measure if your attire should NOT be worn. -If, when you walk by, you hear the sound of "Awe...no they di-int!" - Get back in your car NOW. Drive back home, pull up the intranets, order some clothes that cover up all the stuff, and set some matches to yo' closet! - Now don't give me the "that's all I have to wear routine" - The homeless people I see are very modest and cover up quite a bit!
Red panty hose.....PLEASE!

Notice the picture that this blog came with? That is a "Need Help" sign in the middle of Wal-Mart. It's a wonder there weren't HOARDS of people under it!
Never has a sign been more aptly placed.
My wife (who also has an awkward meter...stay tuned for my next blog about that) and I were purchasing my birthday presents, which was this past July 12th if you want to post a "Happy Birthday" comment or something (big fat wink at cha!) and we had an interesting verbal exchange with the check-out person in the electronics department. I believe one of his choice small-talk-customer-service-phrases that you undoubtedly get at the Wal-Mart school of how you talk to people when you are checking them out, was "I'm glad my wife works, 'cuz I'm just a lowly wal-mart worker." - WHAT...do we say to that? (I wanted to say "You're MARRIED?") But whatever!

Nextly...I would like to discuss an epidemic sweeping the motorcycling nation. The old "point to the road as you pass an oncoming motorcycle while you are on a motorcycle wave"
Is this something new? We were driving behind a feller on a motorcycle and he kept pointing to the ground beside him. It wasn't until we noticed a DIFFERENT biker pointing as he passed YET ANOTHER (what, is there a rally that we don't know about?) on the highway! I never saw that on CHIPS! The Fonze never did it either!

Enclosing, I would like to say something that you may not be aware of.
We have, somewhere in our midst, a NEW superhero that I didn't know about.
Let me explain. As I'm out traveling with a quartet, working VERY hard to be the secondary bread-winner of the family...(laughing) my wife takes the reins of the household duties and that's just wonderful........(sorry, I drifted off because I typed "duties") Anyway, Andrea was taking out the trash with Caden (5) and he told her, as they were walking down the sidewalk, "Mommy don't touch that bug or it will bite you and turn you into Grasshopper Girl!"
Personally, I see a green, skin-tight suit coming on. And, the ability to jump like 70 feet would be cool! Oh, and you get those wings so you can temporarily fly I guess!
But alas, I will have to explain to the youngling that Mommy won't become Grasshopper Girl due to a bug bite...everybody knows that she sprays on this special aerosol, steps into a greenhouse, where she transforms and mounts a motorcycle and points to the ground when she passes other grasshoppers!!

Later

Dave