Nearly Blogged

Hi Readers!

Many of you have questioned why I think the way I do. Or "how do you put up with him" type phrases have always been passed around. I will continue to view them as positive statements! REGARDLESS!

Why do things pop into my head the way they do? I'm not sure. Maybe a combination of too much tv, being an only child, seeking attention, approval...and the list may go on.
Recently at a lunch with friends, our order was being taken. When asked what vegetable that she wanted one of our companions stated "Mixed Veggies please" - As to which I quickly replied "Oh, we don't call them that." "They're 'Blended' Veggies"
Later, that same lunch, we were enlightened that once upon a time this guy ordered his food and a worm was found in his food. EEEWW, was the consensus reply from the table. "What?" he said. "It was just a little worm" - As to which the Dave-O said "Well, two worms had to 'do it' to make that worm" - Now why would I revert back to two worms courting, getting married...leading up to a honey-moon where they conceived our little worm that night?? - Because, YES all of that flashed in my mind as I was saying it!!
Or what about my wife telling me about topical antiseptic....as to which I replied "Well, atleast it is up to date on current events!" - Topical. Get it? On topic? - That's good stuff playas!

Last but not least...I'd like to mentally swim out to the sea of those who find it necessary to use the phrase "nearly drowned"
The NEWS is the worstest at this. - "Parents are relieved that their 3 year old is still alive thanks to the quick thinking of a local paramedic" She (pauses for effect) NEARLY DROWNED at a nearby waterpark....

Excuse me? "Nearly"? So...she....just got wet? Barely swam enough? Struggled with her floating.
Now, I'm not saying that it isn't scary to come close to losing a loved-one by drowning. I'm just saying that nearly drowning is a redundant way of saying that you survived something water-related. If you survived a "water" incident....I have a problem with "nearly"
When you crash in a plane and live, you "survive a plane crash" NOT nearly crashed to death!
Bottom line, if you survive a dramatic water-related incident you STILL survived. You take a shower...nearly drowned. Walk down the road, come a little too close to an old lady's garden...get sprayed by the hose - Nearly drowned. Cause you survived.

I'll let it be now!

Have a nice day!