If You're Happy and You Know It...you must be me!

What a privilege it must be for for you that I blog two days in a row! Though I only have 3 readers...
Let's start off with someone I'm sure we've all encountered. The "Curser of Cubicles" the "Destroyer of Desktop Destinies" the "Prowler of Puckering Plentiness" - The Office Whistler!
Why does ANYBODY whistle for fun? What effort...what...what...noise!!
Located nearby, and ya gotta love the guy for his personality, is someone who INSISTS on whistling as soon as the office gets quiet. It's out of nowhere. The silent hum of the fan, the rustling of the paper on the printer, THEN it's like an Andy Griffith telethon is playing full blast in the next room!! For Heaven's sake, get that guy an ipod!

Let's go over just what exactly it is that I do now. (Cause I know you're just itching know) - or, maybe it's just allergies.
Anyway, I'm the Executive Administrative Assistant at a brand new hospital. My boss is the CEO/CNO/Administrator/Dali-Lama/Grand Pu-Bah!! When she says "jump" I say "Can you see the bottom of my shoes from here?"
Absolutely love my boss. My job is to be near her in case she needs..well, anything. From important items, to "get me two hazelnut coffee creamers" "and git sum four yurself, case we need sum for later" - Yeah, she's from Louisiana. But what she lacks in a Texas accent she makes up for in leadership skills.
My role to the hospital is to filter the people that need to see her. My reason for existence in employment stems from the fact that I can take 5 different 30 minute conversations and have it with her in about 3-6 minutes. The idea is for staff to come to me, explain what they need, and for me to ask her in bulk. Get the response and channel back to them. This works well if used correctly. As Mr. Miyagi says "If do right, no can defend!"
And, I'm proud of the majority that have embraced these rules and walk up to me first and say "I need to meet with her" or "Can you ask her about this?" - There are the few stubborn that have their struggles with it.......we'll pray for those!
I'm the rotweiller that makes you beg for mercy to see the master....actually just a pesky chihuahua,but I'll nip the fire out of your ankles if you get too close! I also help the Assistant Administrator. Who is from London and talks REALLY NEAT! Spot of tea, and all that nonsense!
It's also great to work about 30 feet from my wife. How we make this work I have no idea! But we do.

It's a good life. You're a good audience. I feel like whistling...no, not really!

Later, Dave-O

February Madness...

Hey there!
What is it with a trip to Wal-Mart for the annual hair cut that brings out the blogger in me? What possesed the east-texas product to talk to me all the while whizzing the shears around my head? She offers "You have pretty hair" - Okay...Stop it right there!
THEN - she says "Dad used to have hair like this...........but now he doesn't have any"
Now, I'm thinking "did he die, or just go bald?" Silence was the wise choice! AND DON'T SAY "DAD" LIKE HE'S MY DAD TOO!

Remember when McDonald's went through an overhaul years ago? Now, they have the big, indoor playground. A "resaurant-like" atmosphere.
I think it's time that Dairy Queen does the same thing! First...put one in Greenville! Next, upgrade the inside. And, third (and most important) STOP flippin' the stinkin' blizzards upside down right before you serve them to me! You scare me to death EVERY time!
So, the wife and I take a Gilligan's Island-lengthed car ride (3 hours) to Oklahoma this past weekend for my best friend's 30th birthday. I witnessed a college girls' basketball game. They REALLY get into those things. We don't sit until the first basket is made by OU. The cheerleaders came up to our seats during half-time to give the birthday boy a surprise visit and let pictures be made with them. Which, I'm pretty sure that was the first time he has been that close to any cheerleaders! Sorry Shawn, but I went to high school with you! Kidding...no, not really. We were losers! So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
What is it with Oklahoma drivers thinking that they can just cut in front of you no matter what speed you are going? What, you think 'cause you got a panhandle too that you own the road? Well, you can just detach and move to Florida if that's the way you're gonna be!...But I digest.
So, we made it back.
Trying to create a routine of working out,(a routine being - more than once a week) I was doing some sit-ups in the living room when my 5 yr old Caden walked around the corner. He spouted "Hey, nice exercises you got there!" Then he pounced down and began to do the elusive sit-ups at three times the speed I was going! What a show-off! That made me upset enough to drive to the nearest Dairy Queen - but it's TOO Stinkin' far away!!

Good day friends.

Best Blog Ever

As I was cleaning the house, listening to the ole MP3 player, dancin' around, singing along, my son walks up to me and gives me a look of "Dad, I need to tell you something" - so, I kneel down, take off the earpieces and say "What is it"?
He replies "Dad, you're the best dad ever." Now, obviously I'm the only dad he'll ever have so the bar is not set so high! But, atleast he was comfortable enough to tell me. That got me to thinking just how blessed I am.
I was recently given an opinion regarding marriage from someone not married and not planning on it. He said to me "Hey, I can go out with a different woman every night, do whatever I want, say whatever I want, with no tie-downs." He eluded to the fact that he thought I (married people) was trapped, had too many boundries, and would never be free. - Well, seems to me that he is living a self-induced goal of rebelling against his mother, trying to find happiness in being a "man-about-the-town."
I just celebrated my ten year anniversay to the "best wife ever" (stole that from the kid)
I am not pursuing a life of happiness, but happiness continues to find me. I have her to thank for that. Happy Valentine's Day, by the way!
I have a boss that qualifies as the "best boss ever"
She had the audacity to give God all the credit for the good news that she shared with us. My kind of boss!

Moving on, I am growing weary of trying to keep my profile updated on multiple networks. Facebook, Myspace, this Blog. We need to combine or something. Call it MyFaceToday! Or BookSpace-O!

Well, I'm gonna go now, but will return with my usual left-brained take on life and the incidences that cross my path.

Later, Dave

The little Darling

Hey there,
Wednesday night the wife and I babysat my neice Baby Abby. She's 3 1/2 months old.
We picked her up from her mom (Jill) at church, 'cause that's where she works. - Jill, not the Baby Abby!
Anyway, the Baby Abby was asleep and was placed in her car seat and buckled in ;)
I kept looking back there every minute or so to see if I could detect movement or any unexpected fluid portruding out of her mouth-al area. Everytime I looked her little eyes were closed. - UNTIL...we got about 14 minutes down the road and I looked back and saw, in that little mirror thing strategically place on the headrest of the backseat facing the car-seat showing her great big-ole pretty eyeballs just-a lookin' around.
"What do we do"? I pondered to myself. Andrea was driving and we pulled into a KFC drive-thru. It was at the point of ordering that she decided to start crying. (The Baby Abby, not Andrea) So the cashier-order-taker-person had to hear little Baby Abby's displeasure of being in the backseat ALL ALONE. It was at that point that I decided to jump back there like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Diaper, (I almost went with the Temple of Doo Doo!)and show her my face. - She cried even more! But I started to work some magic with the well-placed car-seat toys. And with some tapping of my fingers, funny voices, and an iPhone she calmed down and even smiled a bit.
Once we got home she was great! She ate and then let us take turns holding her and trying to get her to smile. (Which she did a lot of) Actually, Andrea held her a lot more than me. It came time for her bath and I waited patiently in the living room watching my beloved Mavs. (And, because I have issues with other people and bath tubs....we won't go there at this particular junction. May ruin the weekend!)
Once bathtime with the little Baby Abby was over, (You tired of me using "the baby Abby" aren't you?) "Just call her Abby" you're probably screaming!
- I wanted some pictures with me holding her. She was just a tad fussy, probably thinking about the backseat abandonement earlier in the day, so I gave the camera to the wife, held her in front of me and walked her to the bathroom to show her herself in the mirror. I walked back to the living room and from the time it took me to take 11 steps....she fell asleep! Oh well. We had a fun time nonetheless. OH! I just thought of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Burpcloth! - Nah.
I heard her only once in the middle of the night. I briefly thought about yelling out my new secret technique of putting her to sleep = bath + short walk to bathroom to glance at self in mirror before returning to living room. But I didn't.

Later friends, family, former co-workers still reading this thing!

Dave

(How about Indiana Jones and the Last Cool-Aid? (Give it up Dave)

Haaawwnnkk!!

Okay, so I got busy!
How's it flappin? Me? All is well.
Took Drew (8yr old) to see the Harlem Globetrotters this Saturday. Entertaining. Drew especially got a kick out of the "tooting" sequence. It was a football play. It's too confusing to explain. We were on the third row on the floor so we could read the name brand on their socks!
After the two-hour display of athleticism I never had, we just HAD to go to McDonalds in a neighborhood I did NOT feel safe in. Then, headed to Audubon Park Baptist Church to set sound and get ready for a concert I had. (And to pray thanking God that we didn't get knifed!)
We had invited The First Voice Quartet to be featured as well. A good time was had by all (I guess). Nobody threw anything at us! We went to eat at Cracker Barrel, got home close to 11p and went to sleep.
The next morning, went to church where I noticed February misspelled twice on the overhead power-point. TWO different ways! Febuary, and Februay! Ah, the country!
I guess it doesn't matter if you can spell as long as you're not going to burn in Hell for eternity!! - Wow, you see that one coming?
Moving on, let's talk about car horns. What year is it? Must they STILL sound like an alien abducted a buffalo and is screaming for help?? "Haaawnkk!" It's one of the most annoying sounds under the sun. (I went Ecclesi' on ya)*
Why not make 'em actually say stuff.
Guy pulls out in front of ya - "HEEEYY!" or "MOOOVE!" or "GOOOO!"
Or maybe put a little flair. "Oh, no you di-in't!" "Boy, I will slap you!"
Or - "Get yo' sick, sad Pinto out of tha way 'afore I ram it with my truck...yeah it's gota a Hemi...and I'll stick this bumper so far up your trunk that everytime you turn your blinker on my six-disk-cd changer will start randomly playing music by people that also drive big cars that will run you over should you so choose to PULL OUT IN FRONT OF THEM LIKE YOU JUST DID TO ME!!"
......Maybe we'll leave it at "beep"!
Another little of life's ironic happenings crossed my path while reading in the bathroom......too much info.? Sorry, but a recent fact that I've discovered is that the iPhone makes your poo's an average of ten minutes longer. There's just soo much stuff to browse on that little devil!
Anyway, I noticed that, recently in Illonois, a plagerism policy that had been written was apparently .....PLAGERIZED from a previous location. - Good going.

*Ecclesi is a biblical reference to the book of Ecclesiates where it uses the phrase "Under the Sun" a lot. (This is a teaching blog)

Later, let me see if I can post these pictures correctly!

(is that better?)

Dave-O