Sick-O Today

Good day friends and family. Good if you're not as sick as I be.

Thanksgiving was subtle. Good food, decent football, lots of baby pictures.

Today I've got several topics to cover so let's get to it.

First: Bumper Stickers. - I'm driving to work and I see, on the back of a pick-up. "Follow me to ..." and it had his church name. I thought "what if I followed him and he went somewhere else?" What if I followed him to his job and he worked at KFC or something. I would get out and say "Hey." "I thought I was following you to your church?" - He would say "Well, now that I've got you here..." (thinking that this would be a good time to witness to me) - but I would interrupt "You can't show me the way to Heaven...you don't even know how to get to your church!" - Now, that probably would not happen. But it does bring up an interesting subject. The age-old question of which came first the chicken or the egg. (Note the KFC reference)
My thoughts are "the frying pan gets them both in the end" - Be the frying pan, my friends!
My favorite bumper sticker is "If you can read this...I've lost my trailer!" - but no one asked for my favorite.

Next on the list is "What if you drive a Mary Kay car...and you're ugly?" Now, what constitutes ugly? - You'll know one if you see one! But enough with the false advertisement.

Last on the list: The "Starbucks-drive-through-person-that-talks-too-much"
First off, it's usually morning. - I do NOT want to talk any more than I have to. So don't ask me for anything else. Just take my order, give me my total, take my money, and hand me my warm beverage. Classic example (You know you want one!) We usually pull up the ordering menu around 6:55a - Are we greeted with a "May I take your order?" - No. Instead we get Marsha, who has apparently been smoking for as long as I've been alive!

"Welcome to Starbucks, would you like to try one of our new Mocha-Truffle-Winter-Blast-Twist-Spritzer-Chinos?"

No. We would like two Tall White Chocolate Mochas with Caramel (pronounced Car-Muhl) on top.
Marsha: "Okay, that's two tall white mochas with caramal, would you like a warm blueberry muffin to go with that?"
No.
"Marble Cake?"
No.
"Cracker?"

No.

"Hot-Oil Massage?"

What is it with those people?

She gives us our total and we pull up to the window of everlasting small-talk! "That'll be $7.46 - are you having a good morning?" (sound of gunshot)
JUST GIVE ME MY CAFFEINE WOMAN!!

It's the same no matter where you go. "You headin' in to work this mornin'?"

"Yes, kill me now!"

Not that I'm against small-talk and being nice. It's just that I don't like small-talk and being nice.

As you know, I work in a hospital. I'm over the Business Office. I've recently been instructed to forward all billing-related calls to our Corporate office. I gladly do this (mostly because I know how this will turn out.)

A lady calls me and says that she disagrees with the charged amount. I transfer her to a "billing specialist"

The "billing specialist" calls me back and says that he just got off the phone with this woman who was upset at her bill. He told me that he told her that he did not know what to do about it. He told her "I'm just in billing....."

Folks - I've got it! Let's give him a job at Starbucks. Even if you want to order something besides your lengthy-named beverage, he won't give it to you....cause he's just a cashier! Heck, you may not even have to pay for it...'cause (that's right) HE'S JUST IN BILLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Multiple gun shot sounds)

Have a pleasant one. Look out for yourself!

Sick-O