When I started work two short weeks ago I tried to make a good impression. I politely laughed at the little jokelets. Looked interested during the minutely entertaining stories of they babies (they put on purpose). I know when my three female office companions' cycles start. I've been baptized with tampon fire and blend in perfectly. - There was morning and there was evening...THAT was the first day!!
So, the second day, I was my complete self. Taking the joking, and zingers to new levels, watching as they MARVEL at the speed and clarity of my silliness. No longer was I this hot new co-worker......(okay, I even laughed at that)...now, I was "one of the girls" and everything I said was just enough over their head that they had to think and either comment with a "you're so strange" or laughter that resulted in multiple personnel snorting!
So, the second day, I was my complete self. Taking the joking, and zingers to new levels, watching as they MARVEL at the speed and clarity of my silliness. No longer was I this hot new co-worker......(okay, I even laughed at that)...now, I was "one of the girls" and everything I said was just enough over their head that they had to think and either comment with a "you're so strange" or laughter that resulted in multiple personnel snorting!
Fast forward to today. I thought we were mature enough that I could tell a simple little story of something that happened to me. Not a joke. Not a humorous anecdote with a quip on the end. No, one of "their" little short stories that seems sooooo entertaining that they think everyone else needs to listen. - Here was my story...
"So yesterday, I was driving on the bridge going over Lake Ray Hubbard, and I saw a car that had rear-ended another car parked on the shoulder. Then, about 50 yards ahead of him was, no doubt, the vehicle that he had the collision with backing towards him. When we passed I noticed that the driver backing up was about 99 years old. He doesn't need to be driving backwards. He doesn't even need to be driving forward, much less over a bridge."
"So yesterday, I was driving on the bridge going over Lake Ray Hubbard, and I saw a car that had rear-ended another car parked on the shoulder. Then, about 50 yards ahead of him was, no doubt, the vehicle that he had the collision with backing towards him. When we passed I noticed that the driver backing up was about 99 years old. He doesn't need to be driving backwards. He doesn't even need to be driving forward, much less over a bridge."
That was it. That was my story. I was NOT looking to make anyone laugh. I was just telling a random event that happened to me. One of my co-workers spoke up with a "Was that the end of that story?"
"Uh, yes" I replied. "Am I supposed to be ultra-funny everytime I talk now?" "Can't I just tell a mindless little something?"
Do I really have to be "on" the whole time?
"Uh, yes" I replied. "Am I supposed to be ultra-funny everytime I talk now?" "Can't I just tell a mindless little something?"
Do I really have to be "on" the whole time?
Darn it. Why did I have to be born so dog-gone fabulous?!! - Kidding....a little.
I did try to tell the same story to another co-worker with the hopes of a more pleasant reaction. She went on to tell me about the casualties of old people being on the road! Yikes! Will this ever end? I just want one person to say (are you ready for it?) .."Oh, really" and then move on. No silly comments about my story being more enlightening. No "is that it's!"
Since I'm a baby I went on a quest to then say something lame/funny to try to change my mood. One girl had mentioned that an acquaintance of hers had an allergy to cashews. I brought this back up and reiterated that the "cashew made him achoo" - Huh? Nice right?
Okay, one more. (time for the home-run)
Another lady in our office was yawning and, as I passed by, she said "David" - But I didn't really understand her and I stopped and waited for her to re-address me. She did and I hopped over to see her and said "sorry I didn't stop before I thought you were swallowing a small bear!" - Bet that one did it for you!
Another lady in our office was yawning and, as I passed by, she said "David" - But I didn't really understand her and I stopped and waited for her to re-address me. She did and I hopped over to see her and said "sorry I didn't stop before I thought you were swallowing a small bear!" - Bet that one did it for you!
Have a pleasant one. And, remember, the bridge story wasn't meant to be funny. Just mildly interesting and listened to with respect to the speaker never calling out the ability to tell a story.
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