The Jams of Traffic

Greetings,
I hate traffic. Why does everybody in the Tri-County area decide to get up, get in their vehicular substances and PULL IN FRONT OF ME. It's an emotional raping. Stop, go, stop, wait, go, stop....sometimes ya just need a trigger to pull!
And why is it that I'm so nice 'a driver that I let EVERYONE in my lane? 4 lanes, packed, and there are people on the entry ramp trying to merge on the highway...guess who ends up stopping? Yup. I'm just a nice, courteous, driver. Where'd I get that from? Did my parents raise a cautious, friendly driver? Maybe......well THANKS A LOT!
So I'm driving in this morning all by myself, and I pull into Starbucks. The line is long and I have to drive past the line, turn around, and then get in line. There was a car following me. They knew good and well what I was doing. Did that stop them from whooping around and cutting in front of me as I did a donut in the parking lot? Of course not! - Nowhere in the Bible does it mention being a courteous driver. It does mention engulfing other chariots in flames!! Maybe I can try that one.
Then I hit the six three five (hwy635) where cars mate and multiply as they commute, and I get cut off almost causing my Grrrrande Pumkin Spice Latte' to spill on my lap! (Roll the "r" friends)
On Friday's it's not so bad 'cause people have the day, or take the day off. My suggestion is....more people should take days off! You build up the time, you've earned it......let's turn "rush hour" to "cruise les than an hour"
Ever notice when talking about gas prices, whether increasing or decreasing, that someone ALWAYS has a better version of a price?
"Gas is $2.72 in Plano" "I saw it for $2.63 in Richardson"
You can never get the last word if you bring it up. Just once I would like to say "Gas is $2.19 in Greenville" and the response is people bowing in reverence, while humming in unison "Amazing Grace".......or something close to that. - Try it. Bring it up at work. You will get a rebuddle everytime.
So, last week I had a concert in Rendon TX - Saloot! Knew this one was going to be interesting 'cause there were deer antlers hanging over the bathroom door. As I looked out from the bus I noticed very inappropriately dressed teenagers. Checkered shorts, pony tails, ear-rings....these were just the guys! Was this "bring a thug to church day?" - I guess it doesn't matter what they wear as long as they're at church. - And believe me, we made 'em pay by forcing them to listen to us!
Lastly, I'd like to share with you an answering machine message that I heard.
Ring: "Hello, you've reached the Johnson's" "No one is here to take your call........I guess it would be a good time to rob us" "Leave your name......" - LOL

Happy 29th birthday to my wife Andrea! We will be seeing baby Abby tonight. Very excited about that.
I hope everyone has a wonderful next couple of days and the next time you hear Johnny Cash sing "I Walk The Line" think of someone taking a field sobreiety test!!

Later, Dave-O